


Let Your Heart Be Light

by kitarin



Category: Tiger & Bunny
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-31
Updated: 2011-10-31
Packaged: 2017-11-28 03:37:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 37,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/669837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitarin/pseuds/kitarin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(December 1978) <i>Originally written for the T&B AnonMeme. Post-ep25.</i> When Kaede realizes that Barnaby is going to be alone for Christmas, she invites him back to Oriental Town to share the holiday with the Kaburagi family, hoping to heal more than one heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally written for the Tiger & Bunny anonymous meme on LJ, but many people asked me to de-anon it. Thanks, any of you now reading it here, for all of your support and encouragement while I was writing this. The prompt was for Barnaby to spend Christmas with the Kaburagi family, but this story spun into something much bigger than I originally anticipated when I couldn't help but pour out all my love and adoration for this show, these characters, this story... in the days after the last episode aired.
> 
> This takes place directly after episode 25, but before the 1 year later epilogue.

*******

"BARNABY BROOKS, JR IS COMING TO MY HOUSE FOR CHRISTMAS~!"

Kaede Kaburagi's gleeful voice echoes down the hospital corridors as she skips along, typing furiously into her cellphone.

_Hey Hero TV forum friends, you'll never guess what just happened…_

*******

Kotetsu Kaburagi sighs as the doctor leaves the room, his head falling back against the pillow with a gentle thump. The hospital is at least the _second_ -to-last place he wants to be – he isn't dead, after all – but he really just wants to go home. Whichever home, just not here.

The door clicks open again not a minute later and Kotetsu's partner slips into the room, letting it shut quietly behind him as the old man's eyes flicker in his direction.

"I suppose you heard the verdict?" Kotetsu jokes lightly as Barnaby crosses the room and sits himself in the chair beside the bed.

"I did," he says with a tired nod. His usual jacket is missing, his arm heavily bandaged and there are dark circles under his eyes. "They want to keep you here overnight for observation."  
There's so much more he wants to say, but he has no idea how to begin. The last time he and Kotetsu really had a chance to talk was at the skating rink and even though it has only been a few days, so very much has changed since then.

"Antonio offered to take Kaede home with him tonight," Kotetsu starts, but the conversation goes no further as the door opens again, this time flung into the wall with a slam that makes Barnaby wince.

"Dad!" Kaede races into the room, draping an arm over her father and hugging him from the side of the bed as best she can. "Dad, tell them I can stay! Tell them they can't make me leave!"

"Kaede, Kaede, calm down," Kotetsu ruffles her hair with one hand, struggling to sit up so that he can pull his little girl into his arms, IV tubing be damned. "Papa's just fine!"  
It's only when Barnaby leans in to help adjust the bed that Kaede even realizes he is there, and she blushes, withdrawing a little and smiling shyly. "Oh, umm… h-hi, Bar- I mean, Mr. Brooks…" she flusters a little.

Barnaby doesn't forget faces very often, and he's more than put two and two together by now, but he sees no need to embarrass the old man by bringing up the skating rink incident. 

Once upon a time, he might have jumped to the conclusion that Kotetsu's kindness towards him came from the debt of saving his daughter, but there was no way he would even entertain the idea now. "Just Barnaby is fine, Kaede," he extends his hand across the bed and Kotetsu smiles as they shake.

It's a little weird, sitting here in a hospital room with her father and Barnaby Brooks, but Kaede is still too focused on the situation at hand to dwell on it. "Dad," she implores again with wide, pleading eyes. "Tell them!"

Truthfully, if Kotetsu were more selfish, he'd keep her here at his side, but he knows the ordeal she's been through in the last twenty-four hours. She's worn out and still a little scared, brave and strong… "Papa really wants you to go with Antonio tonight," he says gently, pausing when he sees her wounded expression. "Kaede, honey…"

Barnaby watches the war of stubborn between Kotetsu and his daughter, the hint of a smile tugging at his lips. He doesn't even take the time to consider his words before he interrupts. 

"Your father really wants you to get some rest," he reaches out a hand to touch Kaede's shoulder to get her attention, giving his best and dreamiest smile, ignoring Kotetsu as the other bites his lip to hold back a snicker. "He won't be alone because, as his partner, I'll be right by his side. You don't wish to make him worry about you more than he already is, right?"

Kaede looks from Barnaby to her father and back again, uncertain. If there is anyone in the world she can trust to protect him, isn't it her favorite hero?

"Papa will be out tomorrow," Kotetsu tells her, whether it's true or not, and then adds. "And then… we'll go home."

Kaede's eyes light up and she hugs him again, her words muffled into his shoulder. "Really? You promise, really?"

"Resignation's announced, apartment's already packed," Kotetsu avoids Barnaby's fixed and suddenly intense gaze, but he can feel the heat of it boring into him anyway. "No reason why we can't go home as soon as I'm allowed to leave."

"Then you'll be home for Christmas!" Kaede clasps her hands to her chest in excitement at the same moment that Barnaby sits back hard in his chair, suddenly averting his eyes to the darkened skies outside the small window. A perceptive young girl, Kaede sees the change in his demeanor immediately and her hands slowly drift down.

"And forever!" Kotetsu adds with a grin, surprised when those words form a vise around his heart and squeeze it tight.

Barnaby Brooks looks suddenly and desperately sad, and Kaede knows, because she's collected 178 pictures of him so far, she knows exactly why. His life story is an open book to the public, after all – the tragic Christmas Eve murder – and as they sit there in silence, she imagines her hero going home to an empty house. _No family, no tree, no presents, no sweets…_ "Mr.… Barnaby…" she starts, coming around the end of Kotetsu's hospital bed to stand in front of his chair, a look of determination rising in her petite features.

The blond's mind had been far away already, but the demanding soul in front of him drags him back to the moment. "Kaede?" he raises an eyebrow in question.

"You should come too!" She hesitates for a moment before reaching out to place her hand over his. "For Christmas…"

Kotetsu looks momentarily stunned, but thankfully, the other two are so focused on each other that neither of them notice his reaction. He has no idea what mental and emotional state his partner is in and whether or not this request might just send him right through the roof. _I really wanted this paycheck for presents and not more damages._ "Kaede…"

"I… don't like Christmas," is Barnaby's first and automatic defense, but Kaede is already expecting this answer.

"You still shouldn't be alone," she chastises him, patting his hand. She sounds older than him, older than her years, too much like her father and Barnaby feels himself bending. Can he really say no to Kotetsu's daughter? To the child that, as he'd heard, had bravely saved the lives of the other heroes? Could he deny her request when, truthfully, she was right anyway? _I don't want to be alone._

"I… very well," he finally answers, amused when the beep-beep of Kotetsu's heart monitor picks up its pace in response. "I will join you for Christmas."  
There's a long moment where Kaede processes that she's won, and then she throws herself at Barnaby, hugging him in a familiar and over-exuberant way that he doesn't even have time to return. She's out the door a moment later, crowing to anyone who will listen about her plans.

"You didn't have to do that," Kotetsu says softly once they are alone again, but there's a smile on his face. Maybe it's only a temporary fix to a problem he doesn't even want to discuss with himself yet, but Kaede is happy and Barnaby…

"I would not have said yes unless I wanted to," Barnaby informs him pointedly as he scoots his chair closer. "We all owe Kaede a great debt and… I didn't have any plans."  
It's easier to pretend that it's that simple, but they both know that neither of them really wants to leave the other's side just yet. Not after the fights, the misunderstandings, the memory-tampering, the almost-losing…

"You're a selfish old man to scare me so badly," Barnaby finally breaks the tense moment, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. "And stupid for not telling me the truth sooner." Barnaby is finally close enough for Kotetsu to touch and he reaches to out encircle his wrist with one hand, tugging him closer still. "I'm so sorry, Bunny," he apologizes sincerely, wrapping one arm around the other's shoulders in a loose hug. He doesn't feel the need to elaborate or explain, not now, at least.

Barnaby doesn't usually like to be touched, but he lets this be an exception and blatantly ignores the fact that Kotetsu has warranted a growing number of exceptions in recent days. He can still recall the long and aching moment where he thought Kotetsu was dead and the void it had carved inside him. Returning the hug, he wraps both arms around his partner's shoulders and lets his forehead come to rest against Kotetsu's shoulder as he whispers. "I almost killed you."

"But you didn't and I'm right here," Kotetsu cuts him off quickly and they are silent again. He can feel the hot trickle of tears down the side of his neck, but Barnaby doesn't say anything else. When he lets go to lean back against the pillows again, Barnaby comes halfway with him, resting his head on his own arm on the edge of the bed at Kotetsu's side.

Kotetsu knows his exhaustion is catching up to him and he runs his hand through Barnaby's hair, ruffling the curls as his eyes slip closed. "Daijoubu, daijoubu," he murmurs sleepily in his native tongue, and for once, he really believes that it's true.


	2. Chapter 2

_~o~_

_There is a hole in the ceiling that Kotetsu knows he's going to have to pay for and yet he can't feel anything but completely relieved… almost euphoric._

_Tiger & Bunny are laying on their backs, side by side and a little out of breath, the smoke of the explosion clouding their view of the sky through the warped metal of what was once the ceiling._

_Everything _could_ have changed in an instant, if they hadn't..._

_And instead, something in them has been changed in an instant._

_Barnaby realizes that it was Kotetsu who found the bomb, and the one who decided they ought to "go top"… and that he's not been giving the old man enough credit._

_Kotetsu realizes that the bomb almost exploded in their faces, and that Barnaby did not, in fact, manage to disarm it, and that perhaps Mr. Perfect isn't quite so infallible._

_Perhaps they're less fallible together._

_Neither of them voices these thoughts, but instead they glance over at each other simultaneously, exchanging a small smile._

_Perhaps they won't make such terrible partners after all._

_Their intuition is more alike than either cares to admit._

_~o~_

The train bumps to a stop in Oriental Town and rouses Barnaby with a start. The fabric under his cheek is warm and soft and he doesn't even remember falling asleep. He lifts his head from Kotetsu's shoulder, but his murmur of an apology is brushed off by his partner. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...”

“Nevermind,” Kotetesu says with a small smile, reaching out with one hand to straighten Barnaby's crooked glasses. Truthfully, he hadn't minded a bit, but he knew that saying so would probably only embarrass his partner further. "We've arrived!"

"I see Uncle!" Kaede calls, pointing out the window as Kotetsu rises to collect their bags from the overhead.

It's actually taken a week and not a day to secure his release and sign all of the paperwork involved, but he is finally home and none of that matters now. His brother doesn't even raise an eyebrow when Kaede introduces their guest and before long, they are bumping along the winding road in the yellow van, heading home.

The mountains have lost their colorful cover of leaves in the weeks since Kotetsu was last here, but still rise dark and majestic against the puffy purple, pink and orange clouds of the sunset sky. It's damn cold, cold enough to see their breath in the air in the slowly warming vehicle, and it's disconcerting to think that he won't be going back again, back to the city. Kaede's chatter keeps the other three from having to make small talk, and when Kotetsu slides across the cold leather of the backseat to sit a little closer to Barnaby's natural heat; the other doesn't say a word about it.

Kotetsu's mother is waiting for them when they arrive, and she hugs Kaede first, scolding her lightly for leaving home without warning, then praising her for saving the day. She hugs Kotetsu next, saying nothing that isn't easily conveyed in the strength of her grip or the steel in her eyes. Barnaby holds out a hand to introduce himself and is surprised to find himself pulled into a hug as well, as she tells him. "Thank you for looking after my foolish son."

Kaede gleefully gives them a tour of the house - the kitchen, the fireplace, the bathrooms, doors to other rooms - all in a blur that finally ends with the guest room. Barnaby doesn't know what he thought Kotetsu's house would look like, but he's never slept on a...a mat... before and is grateful when Kotetsu stays a moment to help him set it up. He looks preoccupied, but doesn't offer his deeper thoughts, only telling Barnaby that he'll be sleeping on the couch by the fireplace if he needs anything and to make himself at home.

_Home…_

Just the word evokes fragments of color and sound in his shattered memory, but it's all muddled, the same as his heart. 

Too quickly, it feels, they've all politely left him to "get settled" for the night, and Barnaby stands at the window, feeling somewhat awkward, as he isn't really sleepy. He isn't really... anything. His empty apartment is still waiting for him back in Stern Bild, but a part of him doesn't know if he'll ever go back. He doesn't have any other home, though... But if he's not a hero anymore, then what is he? He doesn't have a clue what he wants to do with the rest of his life, but... it doesn't feel like he's in the wrong place right now either. He does... _want_ to be here... For the moment, it's enough.


	3. Chapter 3

"Haul out the holly~! Put up the tree before my spirit falls again~!"

"Dad, stop it!" Kaede hisses, smacking her father on the arm as they climb out of the yellow van at the lot of Christmas trees. "You're embarrassing us!"

Kotetsu always hums or sings when he's happy, though, and even the combined glares he's receiving from his daughter and his partner aren't enough to stop him.

"Be back for you in an hour," his brother adds before Kotetsu can start singing again, pointing to his watch. "I have a lot of deliveries to make today, so don't be late."

"I may be rushing things, but deck the halls again now~!"

Barnaby offers his arm to Kaede and leans in to say, just loud enough for Kotetsu to overhear. "We can just pretend we don't know him."

Surprised at the joke coming from the other man, Kaede's eyebrows shoot up and she giggles, nods, accepts. Kotetsu pouts as he follows them onto the lot, but he stops singing and starts pointing instead. "Oh! How about that one, Kaede?"

"Half the branches are brown!"

"That one?"

"Too skinny!"

"That one?"

"Too short, Dad," Kaede says with a shake of her head, letting go of Barnaby to wander among the trees curiously. Truthfully, they don't usually bother with a tree because her father isn't usually here, so she doesn't even know what to look for.

None of them do.

Kotetsu doesn't even know how to plan this Christmas that his daughter has invited Barnaby to, but he figures they'll all just figure it out together. He isn't aware of the lost expression on his own face as he trails after Kaede until Barnaby puts a hand on his arm to stall him, asking gently.

"Is something bothering you?"

"Bothering me?" he asks with a note of incredulity that Barnaby doesn't take seriously at all.

"You suddenly don't seem happy."

Kotetsu has a big smile, he has exuberance, he's singing Christmas songs… and Bunny sees right through it all, as always. He can't bring himself to lie to his partner the way he used to, the way he promised himself he wouldn't anymore, and relents faster than Barnaby would have expected, a little sheepish. "Ah, Bunny-chan, I'm just worried. I have so many Christmases to make amends for and I want everything to be...well…how to explain…"

Barnaby nods and lets go of his arm, continuing to follow Kaede as he speaks softly. "I'll do my best to help you make it special for her." After all, even if he only has hazy memories of his own holidays prior to his parents' murder, he can still recall the feelings of warmth and excitement. He understands what it is that Kotetsu wants to do for Kaede. "But you shouldn't be so hard on yourself, old man – Kaede knows who you are and what you've done now and I don't think she's holding your absence against you anymore."

Kotetsu stares after Barnaby with an expression of dumb-founded surprise, then trips over his own feet in an effort to catch up, crashing into his partner from behind and knocking them both sidelong into a tree. The commotion sends Kaede running towards them and she points at the tree as they sit on the ground squabbling about whose fault the spill is.

"You have two left feet, old man!"

"Maybe, but who walks away in the middle of a conversation!"

"Yes, it should be this one!"

Kotetsu and Barnaby stop arguing long enough to pay attention to her, and she's right. The tree they've crashed into is full and green, the undersides of the needles tinted with silver, and it's neither too tall nor too short. "Well, then, if it's decided, go run and find the man in charge to bag it up for us!"

Barnaby rolls to his feet and offers his hand to Kotetsu, pulling the other up with ease so they can brush off the pine needles. He's very used to Kotetsu's brand of clumsy by now, but pauses awkwardly as he realizes his partner is staring at him, demanding in exasperation. "What?"

Their eyes meet and Kotetsu reaches out again wordlessly, gently untangling a branch from one of Barnaby's golden curls. His cold fingers brush lightly along Barnaby's jaw as he pulls it free and tosses it aside, and for a moment, neither of them breathes. His partner's cheeks are tinted pink, though it's too hard to tell if the blush is embarrassment or simply the cold, and Kotetsu can't help but think how lovely he looks, either way. "Sometimes you're a pretty cute Bunny," he finally murmurs, turning as he hears Kaede's voice approaching again.

"My name is not Bunny…" Barnaby mutters under his breath as he steps out of the way of Kaede and the man in charge, but the protest is half-hearted at best.

The tree is bagged and Barnaby manages to pay for it before Kotetsu catches him and scolds him for it, and soon they are on their way to the market to gather food for the next several days, including the Christmas turkey.

Barnaby slips away to pick out some ingredients of his own once Kotetsu starts arguing in Japanese over a turkey with an old woman twice his age. In the end, he manages to get the bird he desires, much to Kaede's chagrin, and when they arrive home, Barnaby surprises them with the announcement that he's making fried rice for dinner.

Kotetsu's mother is only too happy to hand the kitchen over to their young guest and seats herself in the living room to watch as her two sons attempt to get the tree into the stand. Kotetsu is hopeless, though, managing to knock it over twice before it's totally upright, and in the end, he abandons the project to his daughter and brother.

He's actually far more interested in dinner, and the smell coming from the kitchen at this point is mouth-watering.

Barnaby is so fixated on the onions and mushrooms he's turning over in the wok that he starts when Kotetsu comes up behind him. One arm wraps loosely around his waist from behind as Kotetsu leans over his shoulder with an exaggerated sniff and Barnaby drops his spoon.

"Smells delicious!" Kotetsu crows, as if he hasn't noticed Barnaby's reaction to his proximity. "So this is Bunny's famous fried rice!"

"It's not famous," Barnaby replies, fishing the spoon out and wiping it on the apron he's wearing. It belongs to Kotetsu's mother, so it's far more ruffled and… _pink_ … than the one he has at home. _This should feel more awkward than it does_ , he tries to convince himself.

_o/~ Maybe this Christmas will mean something more_  
Maybe this year love will appear  
Deeper than ever before ~/o 

Kotetsu hums along with the music playing on the radio in the kitchen and steals a mushroom out of the wok, tossing it from hand to hand because it's too hot to eat. "But it's for me?" he teases his partner, ducking away from Barnaby's attempt to whack him with the wooden spoon. "The fried rice you wanted me to taste?"

"You… you remember that?" Barnaby asks hesitantly as he returns to the wok, adding the rice and continuing to turn it around and around. They have not talked about that day at all, but he wonders how much his partner remembers of what was said.

"Of course I do," Kotetsu pops the mushroom in his mouth and chews thoughtfully as he turns to lean against the counter, mostly so that he can see Barnaby's face if he leans far enough. "I remember all of it. And this is really good so far!"

"You sound surprised," Barnaby replies dryly, then points with his free hand. "Bring the bowls of peas and corn here." He wonders if Kotetsu remembers the last thing he said to Barnaby before passing out, but he can't bring himself to actually ask. _Pretty long eyelashes…_

"I'm not," Kotetsu replies, setting the first bowl down on the counter and handing the other to Barnaby as he adds. "And they _are_ long and pretty." The comment was mostly a guess, but as Barnaby's hand stalls, Kotetsu knows he is right on the mark and snickers. Barnaby has always been too easy to tease.

"Carrots…" Barnaby says tersely, not acknowledging the last statement at all, but it's unnecessary, because Kotetsu is already there, holding the next bowl. They know each other better than either ever admits; they are the greatest team ever, even just cooking dinner, and the idea that it's over, that they aren't really partners anymore, suddenly hits Barnaby hard, out of nowhere. _Maybe we aren't going to always know each other._ He turns to face the other man, trying to find words. "Kotetsu…"

"Bunny…?" Now Kotetsu isn't certain why this look, this confused and wounded, _longing_ look has appeared on his partner's face, but it feels like a sucker punch. He hates when Barnaby looks sad, hates it even more when it's his own fault, and triple when he has no idea what idiot thing he said was the cause.

Barnaby only continues to stare at him wordlessly until the rice is burning and Kotetsu reaches hastily to snatch the spoon from his hand, stirring furiously to save it. The blond watches him for a moment as he regains his composure and tries to rewrite his own heart, not for the first time. "Thank you," he says after a moment, with no explanation, taking the spoon back and pointing at the last bowl, the shrimp.

Kotetsu is now convinced that something is up with Barnaby, but as always, neither of them knows how to be forthcoming, especially with other people standing only a room away. He's almost afraid to press his luck any further, afraid of what the answers to his unasked questions might be, afraid to make the situation any more difficult. Instead, he hands the requested bowl over and turns and heads to the wine cabinet, searching for Barnaby's favorite, newly-purchased that afternoon. He pours them two glasses and hands one to his partner as the blond turns the stove off, scooping the finished product into a serving bowl.

Barnaby accepts the glass and they clink them together as Kotetsu smiles and jokes, "To fried rice."

The blond rolls his eyes, but the toast has brought a smile back – whatever thought was haunting him a few moments ago seems to have passed, and for that, Kotetsu is grateful. "To fried rice."

They get a little drunk at dinner, enough that his mother excuses Kaede to bed when the jokes turn raunchy, before they are even truly finished, and Kotetsu eats so much he thinks he might need to be rolled to the couch when it's over. It's the best goddamn fried rice he's ever eaten, he's absolutely certain.

Kotetsu follows Barnaby back to the guest room when his mother offers to clean up, asking if he needs help with the tatami mat again. It's an excuse to delay the end of what has actually been a really great day, and when he impulsively hugs Barnaby goodnight, he's pleased when it isn't refused. And it isn't, not at all. Barnaby's arms come up around his shoulders and hug him back, surprisingly tightly, and they stand like that for a few minutes before Kotetsu reluctantly withdraws and bids him goodnight.

Kotetsu is the happiest he's been in years, he can honestly admit as he wanders into the living room and flops down on the couch, pulling a soft, fuzzy blanket over himself. The tree is standing upright now, settling into the warmth of the room and waiting for lights and decorations.

As he's falling asleep, Kotetsu realizes with a start that he forgot to say goodnight to Tomoe's picture. The little shrine is up in the guest room, but he doesn't want to disturb Barnaby again. None of his boxes have arrived, he hasn't unpacked his bags yet, and… and he's so used to his routine, so used to… being alone.

A wave of guilt washes over him and he whispers an apology into the air, but that act makes him feel just as guilty for an entirely different reason. _Who am I really apologizing to?_ Kotetsu doesn't really know who he's trying to be most loyal to anymore, and that has been the problem for a long time now.

_o/~ And maybe this Christmas will find us at last_  
In heaven, at peace  
Prayed for at least  
For the love we've been shown in the past  
Maybe this Christmas ~/o 


	4. Chapter 4

The sky is heavy with thick gray clouds when Barnaby looks out his window the next morning. It's December 21st, the darkest day of the year, and there is an ominous-looking storm rolling in.

Kotetsu is nowhere to be found, but Kaede is watching TV and his mother is sitting at the table in the kitchen, reading the paper. It's actually almost lunchtime, but Barnaby turns down the offer of a meal and accepts tea instead.

"It's very kind of you to have me here for the holiday," he attempts to be polite as she pours them each a cup and pushes one towards him.

"After a year of watching you on TV with my son," she says with a smile and a shake of her head. "You're nearly family in my eyes, Barnaby." She's amused at the look of surprise on the man's face, but she has known for a long time how much Kotetsu cares about his partner. There are not many things he would break a true promise for, not many priorities he would place above or equal to his daughter.

"I… " Barnaby starts, having no idea how to respond to such a statement. He feels comfortable here with the Kaburagi family, for whatever reason, maybe they are all extensions of his partner, and he relaxes a little when the older woman titters at his lack of response.

"It's been nice to know that Kotetsu is less lonely with you around to keep him on his toes," she adds before taking a sip of her tea and turning to glance out the window where the snowflakes have just begun to drift lazily down. It is a long and quiet moment before she speaks again. "I worried about him for a long time after Tomoe's passing, but lately, there has been life in his eyes again… beyond his passion for protecting the citizens of Stern Bild."

Barnaby holds his cup between his hands and takes a sip, letting the heat seep into him, before he asks. "Do you know where Kotetsu is?" He thinks that maybe it's time he meddled with his partner's business a little more.

"At the cemetery, I'd imagine," she answers without hesitation, and they both fall silent again. After awhile, she excuses herself to tend to some of the household chores and Barnaby is left to wander, eventually coming to sit on the couch beside the undecorated tree.

Kaede is there now, watching as the snow starts to whirl outside the window, the visibility decreasing until they can't even see the houses across the street. She attempts a smile when Barnaby sits down beside her, but her features are drawn and worried. As if she already knows what's on his mind, "He always does this."

"Oh?" Barnaby says lightly, assuming correctly that she's talking about Kotetsu, though less certain about "this".

Turning to look out the window again, Kaede nods. "Disappears, doesn't call or tell you what's really going on…" It's easier to talk to Barnaby, she's found, if she's not looking directly at him. She hasn't let him see her room or the posters yet, even though she's pretty sure he already knows that she's a fan. After all, she's connected it now that the autographed book probably came from the fact that her dad is his partner. _No, still too weird to think about…_ "I mean, I know he can take care of himself and all… but…"

"You worry about him anyway?" Barnaby turns to look at the snowfall and thinks of Kotetsu out in that alone. It's why he's felt unsettled all afternoon, not knowing where his partner is, no call bracelets to be an instant link.

"He seemed…sad… this morning, when I saw him go out," Kaede says, reaching to trace one finger in the glass where it's fogged up. "Of course, he says everything's fine, but he _always_ says that."

The truth is that Kaede doesn't know her father as well as she wishes she did and she's spent the last week trying to reconcile all her thoughts of him with all her thoughts of the entity known as "Wild Tiger". She hasn't gotten very far, though it's at least made her totally reconsider all the times he's been forced to blow her off. She isn't less sad about it, but definitely less mad… less resentful.

"That's true," Barnaby smiles a little, watches as Kaede traces a pattern in the glass. He's experienced Kotetsu's habit of silver-lining things more than once, of withholding the truth to keep the peace or save you the pain. He's too kind for his own damn good, in Barnaby's opinion. "Because he doesn't _want_ you to worry about him, right?"  
Kaede is surprised when Barnaby manages to complete her assessment of her father's flaws and she actually giggles a little, covering her mouth and turning to lean in conspiratorially. "He's such a pain sometimes, you know. So silly and-and clumsy… and a pervert!"

"Sentimental and old-fashioned," Barnaby adds without even thinking about it, then colors a little when Kaede giggles even harder. "But he's… a good partner too," he tries to add on, but Kaede is already far too amused at his slip.

_Is Barnaby…blushing?_ Kaede is quite entertained that she's managed to embarrass him. He's suddenly not the suave, cool and collected man she's used to seeing in interviews… he's… a little more real. She kind of… _likes_ it, likes getting to know him better than most people ever get to, and so she presses again. "Even though he messes up sometimes… you make the best partners. No one else could put up with him, I don't think."

"Probably not," Barnaby shrugs a little, feeling happy and sad at the same time. Kotetsu is the closest friend he has, the best friend he has, and he can't imagine being a hero without their partnership. At the same time, his life feels like a great big blank right now, with Maverick's deception revealed and so much of his past a jumbled mess. "But some people might say the same thing about me."

"What? Never!" Kaede declares loyally and adamantly with a sharp shake of her head. "You… you're the King of Heroes!" There is a long moment where Barnaby says nothing and Kaede wonders if she's said too much. "You're… really retiring too, aren't you?" she asks him in a rush, looking suddenly sad.

"Yes…" Barnaby answers her, but trails off, looking pensive.

Kaede's chance to query him further is cut off by her grandmother calling her to set the table, but she pauses in the doorway to look back at Barnaby, wondering. She always thought that Barnaby and Wild Tiger didn't get along that well, but maybe that wasn't really true. In fact, it almost seemed to her now that one just didn't look right without the other by his side.

The household eats dinner without Kotetsu and no further mention is even made of his absence. Barnaby considers going out to look for him once everyone is asleep, but it feels like an intrusion upon something unspoken. He sits on the couch beside the dying fire and pulls Kotetsu's blanket over him to keep warm while he waits. It smells a little bit like him and that comfort eventually lulls him into an uneasy sleep.

*******

_~o~_

_Why do you bother with me?_

_I didn't want to team up with you._

_I have no intention of asking for your help._

_I don't trust you._

_All of these thoughts, all the things he's said, all the times he's slapped his partner down, they all echo back at Barnaby now as he stands at his window overlooking the brilliant lights of Stern Bild._

_Being forced to work together or even learning to trust each other…it is completely different from… from what happened tonight. Barnaby can't think of anyone else that would have done such a thing for him._

_The length of sash in his hands is scorched with the reminder that his partner willingly took a hit for him tonight. He quite literally threw himself into the line of fire to protect Barnaby, and what that's stirred up… how he feels…_

_He already thinks of Kotetsu, somewhat begrudgingly, as a friend… but every time his mind replays those images, Barnaby's heartbeat speeds up, his hands get clammy…_

_The sash flutters to the floor and Barnaby sits down hard in the windowsill, one hand splayed against the glass for support._

_Kotetsu has changed everything about their partnership in one instant – he's rewritten the guidelines completely._

_All of these mixed-up feelings that Barnaby has no idea what to do with, no idea what to call… but he cares, he knows now that he does._

_And Kotetsu cares about him too._

_Barnaby smiles. It's a good feeling._

_~o~_


	5. Chapter 5

The clearing of the storm seems to bring Kotetsu back to himself, for he rouses the entire house at 9 AM with a boisterous laugh and a pounding on Kaede's door. "Kaaaaa-edeeeee~! Come sledding with your papa!"

Kaede stumbles out of bed long enough to yank open her door and kick him in the leg. "Way too early, Dad!" She slams it in his face and crawls back into bed, but it's no good, she's already awake. Only once she's certain that he's gone does she let herself giggle a little, hugging her favorite bunny plushie to her chest. It's cool having her father home, wanting to spend time with her, but she can't make it _too_ easy on him.

The commotion wakes Barnaby, who meets a sheepish Kotetsu in the kitchen where he's rubbing his shin as he grabs a banana from the basket. "Ah! Good morning, Bunny!" Barnaby's hair is a little more ruffled than usual and for a moment, all Kotetsu wants to do is reach out and run his fingers through it the way he did when he came home last night to find his partner curled up asleep on the couch.

Barnaby's lips quirk as he moves to put the kettle on for tea, unable to decide how to respond to his partner's enthusiasm. He doesn't know how much of it is even real after yesterday's disappearance and he can't help but be a little short with him. "You have no common sense sometimes, waking everyone up like this."

Kotetsu smiles at Barnaby's back as he throws himself into a chair, for he is truly in a better state than yesterday. He is a little sorry to have left his family alone all day, a little guilty for knowing Barnaby tried to wait up for him… but he needed the time alone. He needed to find some inner peace before he ended up hurting them when all he really wanted to do was to make them happy. He isn't all the way there yet, but… he's trying. "Haven't you looked outside? The snow is incredible!"

"So childish…" Barnaby murmurs, not surprised when Kotetsu only laughs in response. He wants to ask so many questions, wants to pry into that unspoken business, but it never seems to be the right moment. Kotetsu doesn't usually leave the opening.

"And who's really the old man here? You need to lighten up!" Kotetsu teases, peeling the banana and taking a bite, then talking with his mouth otherwise engaged. "Chew machure t'play in da snow?"

Barnaby doesn't get the chance to answer or scold him again, though, because Kaede appears in the kitchen, dressed and yawning. "Okay, okay, Dad… I'll go sledding with you." Over her father's head, she makes a face at Barnaby as if to say _See? He's SO ridiculous._  
Kotetsu tosses the banana peel at the garbage can and misses as always, then turns to try and drag Kaede into a hug. "I'm so happy! Let's find the sled, the gloves, the hats…"

"Are you going to come too, Barnaby?" Kaede asks him as she struggles to get loose from her father's squeezing.

Barnaby can see the plea in her eyes and agrees, even though it means being forced into a fuzzy white hat with a fluffy pompom on top and having to suffer Kotetsu singing more terrible Christmas songs all the way there.

_o/~ Just hear those sleigh bells jinglin', ring-ting-tinglin' too  
Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you ~/o_

The landscape is truly spectacular after the storm with soft rolling hills of untouched white that sparkle underneath the sunlight. They are just outside of Oriental Town and a few other children have already started sledding on the biggest hill, leaving a criss-cross of tracks across the pristine surface.

Barnaby has actually never been sledding before, but he doesn't tell either of his companions that when he opts out of the first run. Standing at the bottom of the hill, he watches as Kotetsu carries both his daughter and the sled up to the top, where they both then turn and wave at him, equally huge grins on their faces.

After a moment of obvious squabbling, Kotetsu sits in the sled and Kaede runs a few paces behind him. Barnaby watches as she runs and jumps onto the back of the sled, giving them just enough momentum to crest the hill and come sliding down the side, laughing the entire way. They make half a dozen more trips until they happen to coast to a stop only a few feet away from Barnaby's position and tumble out, one to each side.

"See, Bunny? Harmless!" Kotetsu exclaims as he comes tromping over, clapping the snow off of his large, green gloves. "Come on, I bet all three of us can fit!"

"No, thank you," Barnaby says, but it does no good this time around. Kotetsu grabs his wrist tight in one strong hand and pulls, knocking Barnaby off-balance enough to begin tugging him up the hill.

"It'll be fun!"

"Let go, Kotetsu!"

"Aww, come on, Bunny, please?"

"I said no!"

"Kaaaedeee, tell him he has to! He listens to you more than his own partner!"

"Some partner you are, trying to force me into something I don't want to do!"

"Force you have to have fun? Such a crime!"

"Not my idea of fun!"

"Spoilsport!"

Kaede trails behind the arguing pair as Kotetsu continues to drag both the sled and Barnaby up the hill, totally at a loss. _They argue even more than they do on TV, and not as politely either!_ The problem is, she doesn't know which side she should be on. She wants to defend Barnaby's honor as much as she wants him to come sledding, but in the end, her decision doesn't matter because neither of them is paying any attention to her at all. The more they fight, though, the funnier it is, and by the time they reach the top of the hill, Kaede is laughing openly at them.

In the end, Kotetsu drops the sled and scoops Barnaby into his arms, princess-style, sitting down on the red plastic with their limbs askew and yelling to Kaede. "Go, Kaede, go!"

Unfortunately for all of them, Kaede is laughing so hard at this point that she's got tears in her eyes, and as she takes a running start towards the sled, she trips, sliding on the ice. It's instinct for her powers to activate and she crashes into the back of Kotetsu so hard that he grunts.

The sled goes flying down the hill at a blinding speed and Kaede screams.

_Oh, like father, like daughter…_ Barnaby's glasses are askew and he doesn't have a spare hand to right them as he struggles to sit up properly, one leg dangling awkwardly across Kotetsu's lap and kicking up snow.

Kotetsu has let go of Barnaby to reach behind himself, dragging Kaede onto the sled, backwards, one hand tight around her arm. His own powers activate and he digs his other fist into the snow, trying to slow them down.

This doesn't slow them down as much as it sends the sled into a spin across the ice, dangerously skirting several trees before they hit a bump and the sled is suddenly gone out from under them.

They are literally flying through the air now, the scenery whirling by them, and Barnaby's powers activate as well, the two adults wrapping themselves around the little girl to protect her from the fall.

The pile of glowing blue hits the ground and rolls through a snowdrift, finally coming to a stop in an open field nearly half a mile from their starting position. The children still on the hill look like ants in the distance.

"Everyone okay?" Kotetsu manages to gasp through a mouthful of snow as they all roll apart. "Nothing broken?"

"Mm."

"Yes!" The second voice is Kaede's, and now that they are indeed safely back on the ground, she bursts into hysterical laughter again. "That was sooooo cooooool!"

Kotetsu can't help but laugh as well, rolling away from Kaede and onto his back until there's nothing in his vision but the wide blue sky. Then, to his great surprise, on his other side, Barnaby begins to laugh as well. First, it's just his familiar little amused chuckle, and then suddenly, just as bad as the other two, as if they've somehow infected him, a great big belly laugh the likes of which Kotetsu has _never_ heard from him before.

They are all laying splayed like snow angels with eyes to the sky, three little kids laughing hysterically into tears over an adventure so _dangerous_ and _awesome_ that they've only managed to survive via dumb luck.

Barnaby and Kotetsu roll their heads towards each other in the same instant, and even though Barnaby's glasses are frosted over and barely sitting on the tip of his nose, there's a genuine grin on his face. Without a word, their eyes meet, hands stretching towards each other across the snow, clasping and then squeezing hard.

"That was… fun," Barnaby finally says with a hint of amazement once he can breathe, but that only starts the other two laughing all over again.

Kotetsu takes Kaede's hand with his other and they stay like that, watching the clouds drift by until the sun has started to descend and the cold has gotten the better of all of them.

By the time they trudge through the deep snow and ride, soaking wet, in Uncle's car all the way home, it's nearly dusk. Kotetsu's mother scolds them for being late and all three look just a little bit sheepish as their strip their wet mess onto the floor of the laundry room.

There are warm curry buns waiting for them in the kitchen along with hot tea, and Kotetsu devours three of them faster than Barnaby or Kaede can eat one, licking the sauce off his fingers with glee. They are all too tired to talk and the music drifting in the background from the radio lulls them until Kaede starts to look sleepy still sitting at the table.

_o/~ Let it go! Let it go!_  
This old world that I know  
For soon everything will be changing  
In a single glance  
Where it all enchants  
And every hope is worth saving ~/o 

"Go on, into the bath," Kotetsu nudges her, leaving him alone in the kitchen with Barnaby, who's been rather quiet since their sledding expedition. Kotetsu would worry that he's angry, but Barnaby is usually loud when he is angry and he looks more thoughtful than anything else. "Thank you for indulging my daughter," Kotetsu says gently, leaning back in his chair and rubbing at the back of his head with one hand.

Barnaby's mind has been wandering, but at that statement, he smirks. "It seemed more like it was _you_ that I was indulging, old man," he remarks, rising to pour himself a second cup of tea.

A smile spreads across Kotetsu's face as he recalls the laugh he'd gotten out of his partner earlier. He had truly enjoyed seeing Bunny so… happy. "Would it be so bad if it was?" he finally answers, pretending to take a sip from his empty cup in order to avoid Barnaby's piercing eyes as he returns to the table.

Several different answers compete in Barnaby's mind as he tries and fails to catch Kotetsu's gaze. _Obviously! Not at all. I could have stopped you if I wanted. I didn't mind. You were right, it was fun. I didn't want it to end._ "It's the least that I owe you."

Kotetsu looks up in surprise, as that was not the answer he was expecting at all. "Owe me? Bunny, you don't owe me anything, what are you talking about?"

"Apologies."

"What apologies?" When Barnaby doesn't answer immediately, Kotetsu puts his empty cup down, reaching across the table to grab one of Barnaby's hands in concern. "I'm the only one who owes any apologies, remember? For not … telling you important things."

Barnaby frowns and shakes his head, setting his cup of tea down on the table, but he doesn't withdraw his hand. "But did I ever really give you the chance? No, no I didn't… I simply jumped to conclusions and blew up at you. Then tried to kill you. Then almost accidentally killed you."

"Not your fault, either time," Kotetsu insists with a groan. "Bunny, where is this coming from? I'm not mad at you, not for anything."

"Still, I'm… I'm sorry I thought the worst of you, when, as your partner, I should have thought the best." This time, Barnaby withdraws his hand, rising quickly from his chair. "It's not ever going to happen again."

Kotetsu is a little bit stunned by the vehemence in the words, but as he sees Barnaby shiver, he jumps up and comes around the table. He doesn't ask permission before he hugs Barnaby from behind, running hands up and down his bare arms to try and warm him. "Look at you, you always run hot and you're freezing. I bet Kaede's done with the bath by now…"

It's not exactly a response to Barnaby's declaration, in fact, it's more a deflection, but the blond accepts it anyway, leaning into Kotetsu a little bit. He sighs, his intensity deflating a little, and then steps abruptly away. "I want you to be able to talk to me, Kotetsu."

With those parting words, he is gone, walking swiftly down the hallway, leaving Kotetsu to stare after him, his heart rising up in his throat. _Talk? Talk about what?_ Knowing Barnaby as he does, Kotetsu can only assume that the correct answer is "everything."

The implications of that being what they are, Kotetsu decides it's time for a drink.

When Barnaby exits the bath, he overhears Kotetsu tucking in a surprisingly non-protesting Kaede, and not wanting to intrude, he returns to the living room. A thoughtful set-up has been left for them – a pile of blankets and pillows on the couch and a tray of cocoa, marshmallows and the opened bottle of Barnaby's favorite wine. The TV is tuned to Hero TV – the Hero TV Christmas special – and Barnaby sits down, finding that he can't help but watch.

This is where Kotetsu finds him a half hour later, once he's also done with the bath, and he snickers a little at how absorbed Barnaby is. "Kaede said it wasn't the same without us."

Barnaby looks up with a bemused expression and waits for Kotetsu to sit down beside him. "I've honestly never watched this much of it…"

There are two glasses of wine poured and Kotetsu picks one up with a shake of his head. "If you're making me watch this, then it's going to be at least one drink for every time Fire Emblem hits on anyone."

"We might need more than one bottle," Barnaby answers cheekily, pointing at the screen where Nathan has just, indeed, grabbed Antonio's ass. "Especially if we add one drink for every time Sky High says something twice."

"And one for every Origami photo-bomb," Kotetsu adds as he stands, heading into the kitchen to find another bottle, or some beer, because the first is obviously not going to be enough. He returns with the wine, the beer and a bottle of tequila, plus an extra curry bun.

"You're already behind a glass," Barnaby informs him, shuffling some of the pillows out of the way so that they can sit knee to knee, passing the bottle back and forth instead. Glasses are a waste of time at the pace they've set.

"Do you miss it?" Kotetsu suddenly asks once the first bottle is finished and his cheeks feel overly warm. On the screen, Blue Rose is using her powers to add icicles to the holiday display in the park and the citizens are cheering. It reminds him that they haven't bothered to decorate their own tree yet.

In Sternbild, everyone is still celebrating their victory and they aren't there to be a part of it. It's the first time in ten years that Kotetsu isn't there, filming the special right along with the others. Last year, they'd staged a snowball fight in that same park.

"I don't know," Barnaby says slowly. "Do you miss it?"

"Yes," Kotetsu says heavily, taking another drink before passing the second bottle of wine back to Barnaby. Ivan has just photo-bombed Karina and she's icing him now instead, much to Pao-lin's amusement. "But I'm not unhappy to be here right now, either."

Barnaby can hold his liquor quite well, if not quite as well as his partner, but they are decently far in and he doesn't think about things before he says them as much. Maybe this is the moment he's been trying to find. "If you weren't losing your powers, would you really be quitting?"

The question is a knife to the gut and Kotetsu closes his eyes for a moment, searching himself. In the end, he doesn't give an answer, but asks instead, "If Maverick hadn't set you up to be a hero, would you have chosen it for yourself?"

"Please don't answer a question with a question," Barnaby says in aggravation, turning to look at his partner. Kotetsu refuses to meet his gaze, stalling by searching the floor for the discarded bottle opener. It's time to start on the tequila. "And… I don't know. It started as a means to an end."

"It didn't finish that way…" Kotetsu cuts him off with a small smile as he holds up the bottle opener triumphantly. "And I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to go back."

The words hang in the air between them as Kotetsu holds the now open bottle out, even though they aren't really paying attention to the show anymore. Suddenly, Barnaby's face crumbles, tears springing into the corners of his green eyes. "I don't know what I want, Kotetsu… but I know what I _don't_ want."

Barnaby can feel his own heartbeat racing and does not bother trying to hide the look of anguish on his face. Kotetsu reaches out with one thumb to brush a tear away from his cheek in concern, even though his own chest feels tight. "What's that, Bunny?"

When the words come, they are whispered, and Kotetsu barely catches them against the backdrop of the TV. "I don't want to lose you."

Kotetsu swallows hard, leaning in until their foreheads touch. "Not possible," he says back softly, giving in to the urge to let one hand drift slowly through Barnaby's curls. "No matter where you decide to go or what you decide to do, even if you someday call someone else your partner… I'll always be your friend."

"And Wild Tiger and Barnaby Brooks, Jr, if you're out there tuning in…"

The sound of their names in Sky High's voice causes both men to flicker their gaze over to the TV, where their friend is waving at them, the other heroes gathered behind him.

"We want to dedicate this special Hero TV Christmas to the both of you. It's not the same without you here! We miss you, and again, we miss you. Merry Christmas!"

It's impossible to say who starts it, why it happens just then, or whether it's only because they're both feeling emotional, but in the same heartbeat, they slip the last space towards each other, meeting in the middle.

Kotetsu lets the hand in Barnaby's hair curl around the back of his neck, holding him close as they kiss, lips brushing over lips in a cautious question. One kiss becomes two, and three, and then Barnaby nips at Kotetsu's lower lip. Kotetsu breathes in sharply, his hand tightening in Barnaby's hair, and then they kiss again, open-mouthed, breathy and slow.

Kotetsu pulls back first, one longing sweep of his tongue against Barnaby's, but only far enough so that he can pull the blond's head in to rest against his shoulder. They fall asleep just like that, Bunny wrapped in Tiger's arms, content enough not to bother examining it too closely, Hero TV reruns playing softly in the background.


	6. Chapter 6

_~o~_

_"How are your injuries?"_

_"You're worried about me?" Kotetsu is surprised and yet not. He already thinks Barnaby is softer on the inside than he presents himself._

_Barnaby looks away, awkward. "Uh, well… you were injured protecting me." He doesn't know why he's bringing it up, except that it's all he can think about when he looks at Kotetsu sitting in his chair, shirtless and bandaged._

_Kotetsu turns to look at Barnaby curiously and jokes, equally awkward. "Well, endurance is my only strong point, right?" Really, he hadn't even thought about it. It had been pure instinct, that dive he'd taken in front of Barnaby. Not even a dive to attack the criminal, but a blatant move to shield his partner._

_Barnaby composes himself, turns back again. "That's right." He's being silly, he knows he is, and this needs to stop or Kotetsu is going to think he's gone mental for real. Maybe he has._

_The look that Barnaby is giving him says that his opinion of the partnership has changed, but Kotetsu is a little unnerved by the intensity of it. It's not any expression he's seen on Barnaby's face until now. Is there finally a crack in the wall separating them? Kotetsu looks away, asks slowly. "Umm… did you gather all that data by yourself?"_

_There is no point in hiding it now, not after Kotetsu had seen it on the screen earlier. Barnaby's never shared this part of himself without anyone before, but his partner seems genuinely interested. Because he cares, Barnaby reminds himself. Barnaby picks up the remote and the screen blinks to life. "Yeah."_

_Kotetsu's mouth drops open as the screen fills with dozens of news clippings and photos. This is what the kid has been carrying on his shoulders? It's no wonder he's so driven and… detached. "It must have been tough, gathering all of it alone."_

_Barnaby is still holding the remote, fixated on the screen, the enormous tangle of emotions brought on by his parents' murder bubbling just below the surface. "I've been desperate the last 20 years." His arm slowly lowers. "I can't forget the day I saw my parents murdered, even now."_

_Now Kotetsu is surprised and his heart jumps in response. He can see the wounded expression in Barnaby's eyes in his peripheral vision and he suddenly wants nothing more than to get out of the chair and draw him into an enormous hug. Even if the cause was different, he knows the damn anguish of loving someone you love, knows how it eats a hole in your heart. They really are more alike than he had ever thought possible upon their first meeting. "You saw it…? Then, did you see the murderer's face?" He can't help himself from asking._

_"I don't remember." Barnaby's hand moves to his hip as he studies the screen. "The only thing I can remember is the tattoo on the back of the murderer's hand."_

_"Tattoo?"_

_As Kotetsu listens to Barnaby's story, he can hear the grief in his voice, so very familiar, and the rage. He at least has the grace of knowing Tomoe left this world peacefully and not in the horrific manner of Barnaby's parents. He wonders if Barnaby has ever told anyone about his quest, ever had any support in this matter the way he'd been so lucky to have his family and Antonio. He wonders if Barnaby's ever let go of that anger, even for a little while._

_"…if only I could remember his face."_

_"I get that you're frustrated," he finally stops his partner, a sudden determination in his words. "But you need to relax. You can't remember something just because you want to remember it." Kotetsu sits forward in his chair, then looks over at Barnaby. "It'll work out. You'll find him."_ I'll help find him.

_Barnaby looks a little calmer having spilled his story, and he feels a little less alone for the first time that he can remember. What is it about Kotetsu that makes it so easy to talk to him? "You seem so sure," he finally says, because he still thinks Kotetsu is too idealistic._

_Kotetsu is not used to seeing a look of uncertainty on Barnaby's face and he thinks it doesn't suit him very well at all. He deserves so much better than this mess… and it is that thought that makes Kotetsu realize that he's developed a soft spot for his demanding, frustrating, tsundere partner… "You're a good person, Bunny. Karma comes around and… and I think life has better things in store for you still."_

_"You must be drunk, old man," Barnaby huffs, finally turning the screen off with a click and setting the remote down on the table beside the bottles of wine and liquor._

_"Hardly," Kotetsu chuckles in amusement at the accusation as if he has zero respect for Barnaby's knowledge of such matters. In fact, Barnaby has just unwittingly given him exactly the opening he needs. "But it's not like you could out drink me even if I had a head start." Kotetsu finishes his glass of wine and leaves a sputtering Barnaby behind as he gets up to grab the six-pack of beer he left in Barnaby's refrigerator when he arrived._

_"You don't know anything," is Barnaby's tart reply when he returns to find the blond standing by the window again with a glass of wine perched delicately between his fingers._

_Kotetsu sets the six-pack down, but uncorks the tequila instead. "Is that so? Well, then, come on, Bunny-chan, have a drink with me, a_ real _drink."_

_"The least you can do if I'm going to drink with you is call me by my real name," Barnaby complains, but he swigs the glass of wine in one gulp and comes back to the table._

_"Aww, but your real name is so uncute," Kotetsu says with a shake of his head, taking a few sips from the bottle and then holding it out as a challenge._

_"Who says I want to be cute?" Barnaby purses his lips in a way that does, indeed, make him appear cute. He thinks the nickname is a sign of disrespect._

_Kotetsu's hands rise to frame his own face, imitating Barnaby's curls as the blond takes a drink, wincing a little as he swallows. "Fluffy Bunny." As if to deny the comment, Barnaby continues, taking another, longer swig._

_"Shut up and drink, old man. I'll match you any day." Barnaby hands the bottle back with annoyance, watching as Kotetsu resettles himself in the chair, trying to be careful of his injury. Why does his partner always get under his skin so easily?_

_Kotetsu takes the last swig, sets the nearly-empty bottle down and hands Barnaby a can of beer instead. "Even in speed?" He knows that he's riling Barnaby up now, pressing exactly the wrong button on purpose because that is how well he already knows his partner. Barnaby can never resist playing the "I'm better than you" game, no matter the subject. Kotetsu can't even seem to help himself - he just wants that badly to see Barnaby focus on something else, anything else besides this grief._

_"Especially there, old man," Barnaby accepts the can of beer and they stare at each other hard, challenge ON._

_The cans crack at the same time, both of them chugging, Barnaby managing to look far more unbelievably graceful. He's just a moment ahead of Kotetsu, their hands come down almost simultaneously. The glare between them is ridiculously heated and they both reach for the second can as if they'd choreographed their movements ahead of time._

_The second can is harder, requiring a few gulps, a few breaths, and Kotetsu is now just a heartbeat ahead of Barnaby when he slams the second can down and reaches for the third. Never one to admit defeat, Barnaby reaches for the third as well, swaying a little where he stands. Is it fair that Kotetsu is sitting? Isn't that an extra advantage? Is not having a shirt an extra advantage?_

_Kotetsu almost chokes on the last sip of his beer as he watches Barnaby lurch a little halfway through the last can, as if he's lost his focus. And the Tiger wins._

_Barnaby sits down hard on the end of the chair, shivering with a note of distaste for the flavor of the beer, but he finishes the can and tosses it to the floor. It's terrible. The tequila burns in his gut, but all he tastes is the beer. "Don't even say it," he holds up one hand. "I still beat you on the first can."_

_"Endurance is just my strong suit, right, Buuunnyyyy? He drags out his partner's nickname, not smug, just teasing, teasing hard._

_The room is spinning around Barnaby's head and Kotetsu's warm laughter is raising all the hairs on the backs of his arms. He turns to look at his partner, shifting until one leg is back on the floor. "My name is. Not. Bunny!"_

_Kotetsu is completely stunned when Barnaby suddenly turns and climbs into his lap, straddling him with an expression somewhere between enraged and aroused._

_Barnaby pauses for just a moment until their gaze meets, until he can stare into those surprised golden eyes, and then he's crushing his mouth against Kotetsu's, hands coming down hard on his partner's shoulders. His tongue sweeps into Kotetsu's mouth, demanding a response._

_Heat floods Kotetsu's body in every place that Barnaby is touching him and he can't help but respond in kind, kissing him back, fierce and passionate, one hand tangling up into Barnaby's hair. They rage a battle between them, each trying to drown the other, until Barnaby finally lets him breathe again._

_Kotetsu brings hands to the blond's shoulders, pushing him away the tiniest bit as he tries to catch his breath. "Bunny,wait…" But he doesn't know what to say, doesn't know what his protest is. Their partnership? Their age difference? The drunkenness? His wife, his daughter? The fact that he has no idea what the fuck he is doing? There are so many reasons why this is a bad idea, because the_ last _thing he wants to do is hurt Barnaby in any way._

_As Kotetsu hesitates, Barnaby gets a hold of himself, the heated light in his eyes dimming as quickly as it had risen. He closes off again, sitting back, shaking his head as if he's confused. "No, no, it's fine… I… I don't know what I was thinking. It was…"_

_"Bunny, it's okay…" Kotetsu reaches to try and grab Barnaby's wrist as he watches this shutdown happen, but when Barnaby tries to snatch it back, they both end up off balance. Barnaby topples to the side, taking Kotetsu with him, and they land in an undignified heap on the floor._

_In one swift, instinctual movement, Barnaby knees Kotetsu hard and he rolls off, wincing and cursing in Japanese. Well, at least something finally hurts more than his injury. He probably deserves it for being a dirty old pervert._

_"This is your fault." Barnaby's lost his glasses and they've dislodged the remaining bottles from the table onto the floor to join the cans, but he doesn't care. Throwing an arm across his eyes, he groans and mutters to himself about stupid old men, stupid beer, stupid partners, stupid himself… he hopes he doesn't even remember this disaster in the morning. He hopes he hasn't… ruined their friendship._

_"Bunny…?" Kotetsu lifts himself onto one elbow once the pain has receded enough that he can think again, but he gets no answer from his partner. Barnaby's eyes are closed and his breathing is even – he's passed out._

_With a sigh, Kotetsu lowers himself to the floor again, turning his head until he can see the Milky Way outside Barnaby's window. For the sake of work alone, he can only hope to the Gods that Barnaby doesn't remember any of this in the morning… even if Kotetsu knows that he himself is never, ever going to forget it._

_~o~_


	7. Chapter 7

Kotetsu is alone on the couch when he wakes late the next morning, the two previous days finally catching up to him, but he doesn't know exactly when Barnaby left. He can hear his partner's voice coming from the kitchen, as well as Kaede and his mother. It sounds like they are… baking cookies?

"Hey, Dad!" Kaede greets him cheerfully when he stumbles into the kitchen with a yawn. She is standing at the counter, her hands and face and clothes covered in flour. "Grandma and I are making cookies! Fuel for decorating the tree!"

"I'm supposed to take that as a hint, right?" he says, pausing to kiss the top of her head before stealing a banana from the basket.

"There are a few boxes of old decorations in the attic," his mother adds, opening the oven to insert a completed tray. "But I bought a new string of lights for you when everyone was sledding yesterday."

Barnaby is sitting at the kitchen table sipping at a cup of tea, though he avoids Kotetsu's gaze when his partner sits down across to join him. "I was just offering to string the lights on the tree."

"Always so fussy about the lighting, Bunny," Kotetsu teases, studying Barnaby carefully even as he pretends to be very absorbed in his banana. He can't help but worry about what happened last night, even though it seemed to have ended well.

"I just think that old men are better suited for dusty attics," Barnaby delivers the line smoothly as he looks up, but there's a twinkle in his eyes that tells Kotetsu he is only teasing back. He smiles when Kotetsu nearly chokes on the banana in response.

Kotetsu feels like the wind's been knocked out of him when their eyes meet, but he covers it well with his usual bluster. "Ah, so cruel! Kaede, do you see how mean my partner is to me?"

Kaede rolls her eyes at the two of them and hands them each a cookie, fresh from the oven. "It's only as much as I bet you deserve," she sticks up for Barnaby, of course. "But I'll come to the attic with you if you need help, Dad."

The comment is actually meant to be kind, but Kotetsu pretends to take it as an extra insult to his age instead, lowering his head with an exaggerated sigh. "I'm not _that_ old, am I?"

"You'll always be a child to me," his mother cuts in, which causes Kaede to laugh before she points at the cookies.

"Well? Do you like them?"

Kotetsu looks down at the cookie in his hands – it's shaped like the Tiger symbol on his suit and sprinkled with green sugar. He doesn't even need to look to guess that Barnaby is holding a red-sprinkled Bunny. "It's… really cool," he reaches out to grab his daughter by one floured hand and plants a big kiss on her forehead.

"Daaad!" Kaede complains, squirming away and leaving him dusted in white. "You're supposed to at least _taste_ it first."

Barnaby is already eating his cookie, which is soft and chewy, and he takes another sip of tea before complimenting Kaede. "It's absolutely delicious, Kaede. It'll be tough not to eat too many."

Kaede beams with pleasure and turns back to the counter, leaving them to eat their cookies as she prepares the next tray.

The cookie really is too awesome to eat, but not wanting to insult Kaede, Kotetsu takes a big chomp out of it, spraying crumbs everywhere. Barnaby shakes his head as if Kotetsu is shaming himself yet again and Kotetsu kicks at him under the table.

Barnaby almost wishes he hadn't offered to do the lights, so that he can get Kotetsu alone and see whether or not he is going to play dumb for the second time. They were definitely not so drunk last night that Barnaby doesn't remember what happened. For the first time in many months, he finds himself wondering why he ever let it go the first time it happened.

As Kotetsu purposefully tries to aim his crumbs in Barnaby's direction on the next bite, he remembers. _Because he's a silly, messy, clumsy, impulsive, perverted old man and no matter how hard I try, I can't help but…_ "Well, I'm going to start on the lights," Barnaby stands abruptly and without a second glance at his partner, disappears to the living room.

As tempting as it is to follow him, Kotetsu finishes his cookie and heads for the attic instead, pulling down the stairs and climbing them easily. He hasn't been up here in years, and he yanks the single light bulb on as he sits under the low ceiling.

There's a bunch of Kaede's baby stuff up here, including her crib, which makes him smile with nostalgia, but he avoids all of the boxes with his late wife's name. Maybe someday he'll be ready to go through them, but that day is not today. Now is not the time for picking through old memories, and he shifts the boxes around quickly, trying to find the decorations before he lets his mind wander too far.

The first marked box is full of nothing but garlands and wreaths and Kotetsu nudges it towards the open stairway with satisfaction. The second is the tree decorations, and although he thinks some of them are pretty ugly, they get kicked over to the stairs as well. It is the last box that surprises him, because nestled in between the stockings is a photo album. He recognizes it immediately, but hasn't seen it in years.

Pulling it carefully from the box, he flips the green velvet cover open to the first page, not knowing whether to smile or cry. It's Kaede's first Christmas, and he and his wife are standing holding their baby together in front of the Christmas tree. In the picture, he is beaming and Tomoe is trying not to laugh and they look… so happy. So, so happy.

Kotetsu turns the page, and it's the next year, Kaede is trying to rip the red bow out of her hair, Tomoe _is_ laughing and he's… not even looking at the camera because he's smiling at them. Closing his eyes for a moment, Kotetsu takes a deep breath and flips the next few pages faster, until he finds _that_ year.

In place of the usual picture, there is only a shot of a very young Kaede, too young, sitting in a window, holding a plush bunny he'd sent her that year, on the verge of falling asleep.

The next year, the scene moves to the tree in town, but Kaede is still alone. This time she's grinning, maybe a little forced, wearing the pink scarf he'd sent, and waving.

There's one in the middle, three years ago, he thinks, where he joins her in the picture. It was the year that Antonio had convinced him to go home, Christmas Day. They look a little awkward, standing together in front of the tree. Kotetsu is holding her hand like she's younger than she is, but Kaede doesn't seem to mind. She's looking up at him with a smile, but her hand is tight, tugging him in a little as if she doesn't want him to go.

Two more pictures in the book might as well be identical. Kaede is still in front of the tree in town, but the polite smile on her face doesn't do anything to cover up the sad aura surrounding her.

Kotetsu slams the book shut with a sigh, tossing it back in the box with the stockings. He knows there's a reason for everything he's done, knows Kaede had a better, safer life here than if he'd kept her in Stern Bild with him, but it doesn't make him feel any less guilty.

_…Kaede knows who you are and what you've done now and I don't think she's holding your absence against you anymore…_

Barnaby's words float back to Kotetsu before he can let himself fall too far, and he steadies himself with another deep breath. The best thing he can do is make the moments they have together now special. Hadn't he wished for more time with his daughter? He needs to forget about his life as a hero.

With renewed vigor for decorating, Kotetsu carries the boxes down the stairs and into the living room where Barnaby is still stringing the lights. Kaede is watching him, and when Kotetsu sets the last box down, she leans in to whisper, hand to mouth.

"I tried to help, Dad, but… he's kind of fussy."

"I heard that," Barnaby says sharply and Kaede jumps, giggles, but he doesn't turn around. One arm is stretched around the girth of the tree as he balances on one leg, trying to pull the lights around at the right angle with his other hand.

Kotetsu laughs and steps in, untangling the strand where it's caught on a long branch, smiling at Barnaby through the evergreen. "Sure you don't want help?"

"They have to be evenly placed," Barnaby says quickly, as if that somehow automatically implies that he is the best one for the job. The lights were always his favorite part as a child, the way they made the room seem warmer somehow.

Kotetsu steps back to admire Barnaby's work, as he is about halfway finished, and nods thoughtfully. "My favorite part."

Somehow, Barnaby isn't surprised, and he steps back for a moment too, side-by-side with Kotetsu, the bundle of lights tucked under his arm. "Mine too."

Kaede is the process of opening the boxes of ornaments, but she sees the smile that passes between her father and Barnaby. She doesn't know exactly why, but, something seems different about them today. _It's kinda nice when they don't fight so much… even if it's also kinda weird._

"Mm, but that light is too low," Barnaby suddenly says, stepping in and undoing half a circle again.

While Kaede unboxes and lays out the ornaments, Kotetsu goes about hanging up the garlands and stockings. At the bottom, cushioned in between some tablecloths, he finds a sprig of fake mistletoe and cackles to himself. He knows he's supposed to hang it up somewhere to catch unsuspecting people, but he can't resist having a little fun with it first.

Sneaking up behind Kaede as she's hanging small red bows in places where Barnaby has finished the lights, he grabs her around the middle with one arm. "Ho ho ho! Look who I've got under the mistletoe!"

"Dad! Hentai!" Kaede yelps, laughing as her father showers her face with quick, little kisses. "That's not how it works!"

Satisfied that he's stolen enough love, Kotetsu lets his daughter go and waggles an eyebrow. "Oh? How does it work then?"

"You… you pick a spot and hang it up!" she exclaims, pointing to the archway between the kitchen and the living room. "Baka hentai oji-san," she mutters as she walks back to the boxes to get the golden bells to hang.

Kotetsu laughs loudly as he overhears her, but can't decide if she sounds more like him for the language choice or Barnaby for the insult choice. Either way, she's been hanging out with them too much.

Barnaby snickers a little as well, but hides it better, tucked halfway behind the tree as he finally finishes the bottom circle of lights. By the time he crawls out and takes a seat on the couch to study the design one last time, Kotetsu reappears with the tin of cookies, munching on one shaped like a Christmas tree.

The tiny white lights twinkle, placed ever-so-perfectly in the spaces of the tree to make it appear fullest, and Kotetsu smiles at it as he sits down beside Barnaby. "Thanks… the lights look great."

"It was no problem," Barnaby shrugs, but his small smile in return gives away that he is just as pleased. He's always thought that having a tree might recall horrible images from his childhood, but it thankfully does not. Maybe it's the different place, the different company… but sitting beside Kotetsu and watching as Kaede hangs the last of the tiny candy canes, he feels oddly soothed. When Kotetsu slowly reaches to place his hand atop Barnaby's where it rests on his knee, the blond turns his own hand over to twine their fingers together.

"I'm glad you came home with us for the holiday, Bunny," Kotetsu says softly. He can't bring himself to finish the thought, but he hopes that Barnaby can see it in his eyes. _I would have missed you too much if you hadn't. I don't know that I could have done this without you._ Kotetsu doesn't know when he and Barnaby became so inseparable.

Barnaby can tell that there's something bothering Kotetsu, something he is not saying, as usual, but all he can do is respond in kind. "As I've said, there was… no point in staying without you." He can make all the excuses he wants about Maverick, but the truth is that he and Kotetsu have spent very few days apart in the last year. He doesn't know when he started feeling more comfortable at his partner's side than alone.

"Okay, who wants to help me with the star?" Kaede is digging in the box for the final piece, which she unwraps from tissue paper and holds out triumphantly. When both adults snap apart and turn to face her with the same sheepish expression, she gives them a peculiar look. "Umm…?"

"What she means is who's going to lift her up so she can do it herself," Kotetsu says with a grin, but before he can set the cookies aside, Barnaby is already on his feet.

"I'll help you, Kaede."

Kaede certainly isn't going to turn down the offer, and in fact she's a little bit tickled when Barnaby lifts her so easily into the air beside the tree, like she's a feather. _Oh, wow, if the forum could see me right now! L-u-c-k-y~!_

Kotetsu watches them quietly, his partner and his daughter, and it feels like his stomach punches his heart. He suddenly wants to freeze-frame this moment and fumbles in his pocket for his phone, flipping to the camera function.

Barnaby waits until she's satisfied before setting her down again, and then all three of them stand side by side to admire their work. The entire room looks magically transformed in red, green and gold. Music drifts from the kitchen where Kotetsu's mother has been cooking for the last hour, and everyone drifts in that direction, exhausted from the artistic effort.

_o/~ Have yourself a merry little Christmas, Let your heart be light  
From now on our troubles will be out of sight ~/o_

Dinner is a thick, hot soup with fresh bread, served around the fire and followed by the roasting of marshmallows. Kaede takes it upon herself to roast some for Barnaby when he expresses his dislike of being too close, and when she finally dozes off, her head is resting against Barnaby's knee where he is seated on the couch.

Kotetsu carries her to bed, tucks her in with the bunny plushie, and wonders if he can get used to being here all the time. He wonders if it will get easier. He wonders if he can convince Barnaby to stay longer than just the holiday. He wonders if he's selfish for wanting that when Barnaby is finally free to live his own life for the first time ever. He was supposed to stay in Stern Bild and make this decision easier on Kotetsu. Nothing makes sense and everything makes sense and Kotetsu has done so much for the sake of helping other people in the last ten years that he has almost forgotten how to want anything for himself.

Almost.

Returning to the living room, he finds Barnaby sitting on the couch alone, his arms folded and his eyes closed. He looks deep in thought, but at the sound of Kotetsu's footsteps, his eyes open, his expression hesitant. "I suppose this is goodnight?"

"Actually… if you'd stay with me for awhile, Bunny?" Kotetsu crosses the room and sits down on the couch beside his partner, never once breaking their gaze. For some reason, he really doesn't want to be alone right now.

"Are you okay?" Barnaby asks tentatively, shifting until they are facing each other, knee to knee, each with one leg tucked up, mirror images. He leaves the topic purposefully open-ended, because he doesn't know how to bridge the gap, how to turn that crack in the wall into a window. The feelings he has for Kotetsu run deep, so deep he hasn't even managed to untangle it all, doesn't know what to call it. It's all been unraveling since that day… that day he'd almost killed his partner. But Barnaby doesn't know how Kotetsu feels and he doesn't know how to ask, especially when he can't even admit his own answers to himself. "I can tell that something is really weighing on you."

"I don't know how to do this," Kotetsu says with a vague wave of his hand, avoiding Barnaby's eyes to stare into the smoldering fire instead. There's pain in his voice that surprises even himself. Where is it coming from? "I don't know what you want me to say." He's on a precipice, it seems, with so many things.

"What I want you to say?" Barnaby asks in confusion, then shakes his head. "Why are you worried about that? Kotetsu… I… usually spend Christmas alone, alone in the dark, trying to forget that it's Christmas." It's hard to rein in his feelings on the subject and he gestures to the decorated room with one sweep of his arm. "Don't you realize that this is the best Christmas I've known in twenty years? The first time I've really been able to try and put it all behind me? You and your family… I am so very out of place here, and yet, you…"

"I meant it when I said I was glad you came with me," Kotetsu interrupts, deflects. He feels just as out of place, like he's left his real life behind in Stern Bild, or he's living in some strange parallel existence, but he doesn't want Barnaby to see that. He doesn't want to put any pressure on him. "You're no more out of place than me. And it's okay if you don't know what you want now."

"But you act like _I'm the only one_ who doesn't know what the hell to do next!" Barnaby snaps in frustration, his hands reaching out to grip Kotetsu's shoulders, forcing him to meet his eyes. "I don't know any more than you do, about _any_ of it! So why do you continue to try and hold things back from me? Back when I was breaking down, you said you'd stick by me as my partner until it was all sorted out with no regard for yourself! Why, why can't you let me do the same thing for you?"

Kotetsu is startled by the sudden emotion behind Barnaby's words and he lets himself be shaken a little before he responds. "Let you…? I…I never wanted you to feel like had to, Bunny. Me losing my powers… I never wanted to hold you back. I never wanted my problems to be yours."

"Then you're just as I always say – a stupid old man! And a hypocrite too!" Barnaby's eyes are tearing, but he blinks them furiously away.  
Kotetsu winces and averts his eyes again. They are talking in circles and layers, avoiding the heart of everything, making the same mistakes again. "Harsh, Bunny, harsh…"

"True!" Barnaby cuts him off, but softens at the wounded expression on Kotetsu's face. His mind races, searching for the right thing to say, but the harder he pushes, the easier it is to get hurt. _How to make him understand?_ "You… want to meddle in all of my business, want to be the one I can confide in and rely on…" Barnaby isn't sure if they're talking about their jobs, Kotetsu's power, his family, Maverick, Kaede or the two kisses they're still pretending didn't happen. "But then you refuse the same! You tell me nothing! You leave me guessing!" It's all become one and the same thing, after all, a bond between them that defies definition. "Aren't partners supposed to support each other?"

"We're not partners anymore."

The words are out of Kotetsu's mouth before he even thinks them through, he's fighting himself so hard now. _Why can't I let Bunny be there for me? What am I so afraid of?_

Barnaby looks as stunned as that day at the skating rink when Kotetsu had slapped him, but he says nothing, tears running down his cheeks silently.

Kotetsu immediately apologizes, stumbling over himself in his frustration. "Bunny, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, you know I didn't mean it like that, I don't know what I was thinking – don't, don't look at me like that, I can't take it when you look that sad!"

It takes Barnaby a moment to compose himself and then he reaches to take one of Kotetsu's hands between his own two, slowly shaking his head. "Not technically, I guess… but we're _friends_ … which means we will figure it out together. It means I'm allowed to meddle… I'm allowed to care."

Kotetsu chokes up a little bit hearing his own words played back at him and he reaches for Barnaby, pulling him close to hug him tightly. "When did you start to sound like me?"

Barnaby sighs, returning the hug, lingering. It has long stopped being _exceptions_. "We've always been more alike than either of us wanted to admit."

"Does that mean I'm supposed to admit to it now?"

"You can start by admitting to me that you have as little clue what to do with the rest of your life as I do. Then stop feeling guilty about it."

Kotetsu chuckles weakly in response, his arms still tight around Barnaby's middle, head tucked into his shoulder, and Barnaby has the grace not to mention the growing dampness in the neckline of his t-shirt. "You just like hearing that you're right."

"That's also true," Barnaby murmurs, lifting one hand to smooth Kotetsu's hair back before he says softly, but sternly. "And now I'm going to stay here with you and you're going to be happy about it."

It's been a long time since anyone has had the nerve to call him on his bullshit and put him in his place, Kotetsu thinks as Barnaby stretches out on the couch beside him and pulls the blanket over them. A long time since he's felt so vulnerable… or grateful.

Only one other person in his life has ever affected him in this way, and he is fucking terrified to admit why.

_o/~ Through the years we all will be together,_  
If the Fates allow  
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.  
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now ~/o 


	8. Chapter 8

_~o~_

_The heartbeat of the city chants Barnaby's name and Kotetsu watches as his partner is pulled in a million different directions. Everyone wants to congratulate, thank, interview and otherwise gush about the amazing Hero who stopped Ouroboros._

_Kotetsu wouldn't have it any other way._

_It is a fucking glorious beautiful day where justice has been served and everyone is cheering them on and nothing can bring him down, not even petty injuries._

_He watches the smile on Barnaby's face, catches his bright green eyes over the shoulders of the reporters, tips his hat._

_There's a flash in Barnaby's expression, so swift that no one else catches the disappointment, but he can't get away now. Kotetsu is out the door before anyone else even notices he's gone._

_The sun is fading in the western sky and the wind is kicking up, making it a brisk walk away from the hospital. Kotetsu's eyes are on the lights tonight, though, the thousands of shining windows and the brush of stars beyond, and he trips along to his regular pub with a skip in his step._

_Sitting down at the bar, he orders his favorite Super Hero drink in celebration, and only once the frosted glass is between his hands does he let everything else catch up in a rush._

_Kotetsu doesn't need the accolades – it's always been enough that the city is safe and his friends are alive – but tonight is an extra celebration. Today he earned the respect of his partner, and that means a lot more, more than he'd guessed._

_He tips the drink back, downing it in 1-2-3 gulps, and cheerfully orders another. Generally, he makes it a rule not to drink alone while out, but tonight is different._

__Bunny trusted me… __

_It is_ their _success, working together, that's made today possible. Even if Kotetsu had somewhat-sort of tricked him into it. So what? So what if he'd taken a leap of faith in thinking that Barnaby would trust him despite his idiotic reasoning? Barnaby_ did _trust him now, he'd… he'd called Kotetsu by his real name for the first time ever. Surely, it's a sign of trust?_

_Kotetsu slams his second glass down and orders a third, laughs at himself when he realizes he's so happy he's tearing up. He is such a damn, sentimental fool. Barnaby would surely laugh at him and call him such, if he was here._

_The walk home is easier due to the warmth in Kotetsu's belly, but he feels almost disappointed when he arrives at his flat to find the same, empty beer-can ridden space as usual. Kicking his shoes off in the doorway, he loosens his tie and sets his hat on the designated hook._

_He is a little bit tipsy, still, and in an effort to hang onto his good mood, he passes up his usual cheap beer in favor of his favorite whiskey. No one ought to be looking for him tonight anyway._

_It's late and he skips the couch in favor of heading straight upstairs, bottle in hand. The vest and shirt go immediately and he winces at the blood-soaked bandage underneath. Whiskey is fine medicine for sipping regularly while he stands in front of the bathroom mirror, changing it with a grimace, and finally he flops onto his bed in relief, drunk, exhausted and happy._

_His call bracelet goes off._

_Thankfully, it's only his partner, and Kotetsu slaps the button, staring at the ceiling and smiling. He probably would have ignored anyone else. "Bunny-chan…" he sighs slowly. He's not sure whether the rush of warmth he feels is the whiskey or the sound of his partner's voice on the other end of the line._

_"Are you… drunk?" Barnaby's voice sounds suspicious, slightly worried._

_Kotetsu laughs at how perceptive he is and holds his wrist up to his face so that Barnaby can see his lazy grin. "Nah. Tired. Injured, remember?"_

_Barnaby makes a sound of disbelief, then a patient sigh. "You're at home?"_

_"Yes." Is Barnaby checking up on him?_

_"I'll see you tomorrow then."_

_"G'night, Bunny."_

_A moment's hesitation. "Goodnight, Kotetsu."_

_The whispery sound of his own name in Barnaby's voice echoes in Kotetsu's mind, a rush even after the call has long-ended and he sighs, his eyes drifting closed as he pictures the genuine smile that had accompanied it earlier today._

_Kotetsu._

_He doesn't know if he's ever enjoyed the sound of his own name this much, and the sentiment it implies… the sentiment he's been trying to play off for a while now. The sentiment he keeps trying to convince himself is a betrayal of more than one person's trust._

_But lately it's impossible to think about Barnaby without remembering that which they do not speak of, and suddenly, Kotetsu's memories of Barnaby saying his name are laced with memories of a different night._

_It would be a blatant lie to say he's never replayed that night, the feeling of Barnaby's hands on his shoulders, the crush of those soft lips against his…_

_But he usually cuts it off there, forces himself not to get carried away, reminds himself of all the reasons they've never mentioned it, all the reasons why it's a bad idea…_

_But that smile._

_That smile of genuine affection, he can't get it out of his mind, can't stop recalling Barnaby's touch and it's… undoing him. He's drunk and uncomfortably hard in his pants and all he can think of is Barnaby's voice…_

_Kotetsu._

_It'll just be this once. He'll give in to it, get over it, and swear never to think of it again. He'll get this insanity out of his system and not ruin the fragile trust he's finally painstakingly built with his partner… with his Bunny._

_Just this once, and then he swears, he swears life will just go back to normal._

_Kotetsu unbuckles his belt, unzips his pants, and in his mind, he never stopped Barnaby that night. His hand wraps around his hard length, withdrawing it and stroking firmly, but Kotetsu is imagining that it's Barnaby who's touching him, whispering his name over and over. "Bunny…" Kotetsu moans, his thumb circling, spreading the pre-cum to smooth the friction, his hips bucking up into his hand._

_Kotetsu._

_The little voice of reason that usually holds him back has been drowned, and Kotetsu is lost somewhere between memory and fantasy._

_"Bunny…" With the sound of his partner's name still on his lips, Kotetsu lets himself go, coming hard into his hand. His heart is racing and his head is spinning, but he isn't sorry.  
There's plenty of time for sorry come the morning, and so he lets himself have just this moment - unspoiled, satiated and triumphant._

_In his dreams that night, he's falling, but he never hits the bottom._

_~o~_


	9. Chapter 9

Kaede is so excited on Christmas Eve that she's the first one awake in the whole house and she creeps down to the kitchen thinking she might be able to get away with stealing a cookie before anyone can catch her.

On the kitchen table, three identical presents have been left, signed from her grandmother to Barnaby, her father and herself. Insatiably curious, she sits down with cookie in hand and quietly opens hers to find a fluffy white turtleneck inside.

_Don't get too cold skating today. XOXO_

Pulling the sweater on over her pajamas and snuggling it to herself, she wanders towards the living room, where the newly-decorated tree twinkles in the early morning light coming in through the window. There are big fat fluffy snowflakes drifting lazily down outside, but she hesitates in taking a step further when she realizes her father is still asleep on the couch.

Kotetsu is laying on his back under the fuzzy green blanket, sound asleep, but he is not alone. Kaede's face flushes as she realizes that Barnaby is under the blanket with him, stretched out alongside him, his head resting on Kotetsu's shoulder. In fact, Kaede can't actually see her father's face, as it's mostly hidden in Barnaby's golden curls.

They look so… _cute._ The very thought short-circuits her brain for a moment. _Barnaby Brooks, Jr. and…my dad?_

"Kaede! Have you been eating cookies this early?" Grandmother's voice calls from the kitchen and it turns out that Kaede is not actually the first one awake. She scurries back to the kitchen with a sheepish expression and hugs her grandmother good morning, thanking her for the present.

Never the heaviest sleepers thanks to their jobs as heroes, the voices are all it takes to wake both Kotetsu and Barnaby. They are both momentarily surprised to realize they are still on the couch together and not the first ones awake, but Barnaby sits up and searches for his glasses calmly, waiting to see how Kotetsu will act.

Kotetsu figures it's already too late - they've either been seen in this vaguely compromising position or not and there's little he can do about it. Sitting up, he hesitates for a moment before he presses a light kiss to Barnaby's temple just after the glasses are in place.

Barnaby flusters and colors in response, but doesn't shy away. "Tea…" he finally says, touching Kotetsu's hand lightly before rising to disappear into the kitchen. He doesn't make it that far, though, as Kaede returns from the kitchen in a rush, carrying the other two presents. She collides with Barnaby, who grabs her by the arm to keep her from falling.

"I'm so sorry! Good morning, Barnaby!" she chirps, a little embarrassed, and holds out the now squashed presents.

"Freeze!" Kotetsu suddenly yells, making both of them jump. A smile of smug satisfaction on his face, he points to the mistletoe above their heads and cackles as both of their faces go bright red.

"Oh, umm…" Kaede says, a ridiculous conflict of interest all over her face. Thankfully, before she has to come up with anything to say, Barnaby rolls his eyes at Kotetsu and leans down to give his daughter a kiss on the cheek.

Kaede actually squeaks, shoving Barnaby's present at him and racing into the living room to throw the other one at her father. "Hurry up and get dressed! The skating rink opens in an hour!"

Kotetsu sees that the present is actually from his mother, and with a smile, he pulls off the slightly torn paper. It's been tradition in their household to give one gift early, ever since he was a small boy himself. Inside the box, he finds a fluffy turtleneck, his favorite shade of dark green, and yells out. "Thanks, Mom!"

Barnaby is still standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room, the wrapped present in his hands, looking a little dazed. It's the weirdest feeling of déjà vu, as if Christmas, which he watches go by every year, is this hazy memory he can't quite recall. "Thank you, though it wasn't necessary," he finally says politely to Kotetsu's mother as he enters the kitchen, sits down at the table and carefully removes the paper. He doesn't want to be impolite. Just like the first two, there's also a fluffy turtleneck in this box, a bright Christmas red.

"It's quite necessary," Kotetsu's mother chastises him like he is another one of her children. She's now cooking up a giant batch of scrambled eggs and sausages for breakfast and the kettle is whistling. "The temperature won't even make it above freezing today! Get the kettle, will you?"

All three line up in their new turtlenecks at the front door after breakfast to say thanks to Kotetsu's mother again, and then they are out the door, hitching a ride with Uncle into town. It's Kaede's own personal tradition to go skating on Christmas Eve and take a picture in front of the town tree and she's brought her own skates in their purple bag for the occasion.

The rink itself is not too crowded at this hour, but it's in the heart of Oriental Town, and last-minute shoppers are everywhere. Kotetsu is one of those last-minute shoppers and as Kaede laces up her skates, he tugs Barnaby a few steps away by the elbow.

"Hey, Bunny, do you think you can keep an eye on Kaede for awhile? I really want to get her a few more presents." He really wants to get everyone a few more presents, but Barnaby doesn't need to know that. As much as Kotetsu loves getting presents, he really loves giving them even more.

"Of course," Barnaby says, but he seems oddly disconnected today, his actual gaze somewhere out past the buildings and decorations.  
Kotetsu worries it's not the best idea to leave them alone, but he isn't going to get another opportunity. He waits until Kaede is out on the ice, distracted, and then he melts into the crowd of shoppers.

It almost makes him feel like he's back in the busy city again, weaving from store to store, each one decorated to the max, most of them piping familiar songs. The first thing he buys is the most enormous pile of sweets – the fanciest truffles he can find, candy canes and tiny little sweet cakes, all wrapped up in bows and ribbons. Next, he's on to Kaede, buying her every cute plush and piece of clothing he can find, figuring that somewhere in the mess will be something she loves. He knows he's probably being a little ridiculous, but he can't help but want to make this the best Christmas ever.

Barnaby is harder to buy presents for, even harder than his mother or his brother, and despite how many family piles of sweaters and socks Kotetsu includes him in, it still doesn't feel… right. His partner doesn't collect much, doesn't want much and last asked him for a diamond worth millions, even if it was a joke.

Kotetsu feels like he has more and more lately that he wants to express to Barnaby with no idea how to go about it – there's no gift he can wrap up that really speaks what's in his heart. There's nothing that expresses his gratitude for their partnership, their friendship, or the twist in his heart where it's become so much more than that. In the end, he returns to the skating rink a little dejected and wishing he could abuse his power just to carry the bags. He might have gotten a little carried away.

When Barnaby is not where Kotetsu left him, he almost goes into a panic. Scanning left and right through the crowd around the rink, he goes to hit his call bracelet, only to realize it's not there. His first thought is that it's a month ago, all over again, that awful day at the Sternbild skating rink, and Barnaby has freaked out, taken off… _So stupid to leave him alone on This day, Kotetsu!_

Kotetsu drops the bags at the edge of the rink and pulls out his cell, scanning the ice for Kaede now, but before he can actually call Barnaby's phone, he spots her… them.

Barnaby is actually out on the ice with Kaede, holding her hand as they skate in swift circles together. His partner is just as graceful as his daughter, and occasionally, they turn to skate backwards together, disturbingly in sync. Kotetsu can't hear what they are saying, but there's a pleased grin on Kaede's face and Barnaby at least looks calm and relaxed. More relieved than he wants to let on, Kotetsu flags them down as they come around to his side of the rink.

"I didn't know you could skate!"

"You never asked," Barnaby shrugs once they arrive at the edge where Kotetsu stands outside the railing. "I haven't in many years, but…" And here, Barnaby smiles down at his young partner and Kaede blushes, glancing down at her skates, hair falling into her face. "Kaede helped me brush off the dust."

"And where have you been?" Kaede demands of her father, her head snapping up, despite the fact that she sees all the bags at his feet. "You promised to come skating with me and then disappeared!"

"Ah, Kaede, you know Papa isn't as lovely a skater as you."

"You _promised_!" Kaede gives her father her best sad-and-dejected-pout, which she'd obviously learned from him, and then demands. "Go rent a pair of skates now!"

Kotetsu knows that there's no getting out of this, and so he hands all the bags off to one of the attendants and gets on line to rent a pair of skates. He takes as long as possible to lace them, watching as Kaede attempts to instruct Barnaby in how to do one of those fancy little 1-turn jumps. She's really a lot better than she used to be, he realizes suddenly.

Barnaby has just about mastered the little jump when Kotetsu finally appears at the entrance to the rink, trying to look casual-cool, but with _uncomfortable_ written all over his face.

"It'll take him a half hour just to get off the railing," Kaede informs Barnaby knowingly, skating in little circles, the beginnings of a spin.

"Is that so?"

Kaede watches as a truly mischievous look flickers across Barnaby's face and giggles a little behind her glove when he skates over to her father. She's begun to think that their arguments are not that serious, their belligerence due mostly to stubbornness and ego. They are actually… quite a bit alike sometimes.

"Can't stand up, old man?" Barnaby teases, skidding to a stop beside him and spraying him with just a little ice.

"Hmph," Kotetsu snorts in response, trying in vain to steady himself, taking one hand off the railing. He tries to take a step, but his feet come out from under him and he grasps for the railing again with a muttered curse.

Barnaby laughs at him for a moment, a little surprised. "I don't understand – I've seen you slide across Rose's ice effortlessly in the heat of battle."

"It's the blades!" Kotetsu complains, feeling like he's just pulled his arm out of the socket trying to right himself. "On my feet, in my suit, it's like walking with a glide or something… but this… it's just…clunky…"

"You can't rollerblade either, can you?"

"…"

"Kaede must have gotten all her grace from her mother."

"Shut up."

Barnaby wonders if he's hit a little too close on that one when Kotetsu averts his eyes. "Come on…" he says, a little more tentative, holding out one hand.

"If this is a joke to watch me fall on my ass…" Kotetsu grumbles a little, but then glances back at Barnaby and softens.

"It's not a joke!" Barnaby bites his lip and gestures again, leaning in to speak softly. It had started as a joke, but isn't anymore. "Do you want to continue looking like an idiot, or do you want to skate with your daughter?"

It's not a hard decision at all, really, even if Kaede weren't involved. Kotetsu wants nothing more than to take Barnaby's hand. He's spent months living on casual touches, whatever he can get away with without seeming suspicious, trying to hide from himself. He's never been a very good liar, though, and as usual, everything seems to be catching up to him all at once. "Fine, fine…"

Barnaby continues to hold out his hand until Kotetsu has let go of the railing to make a grab for it. "No, you only get one hand," he chastises when Kotetsu lets go of the railing entirely and tries to reach for Barnaby's other hand.

This statement has no success at all, as Kotetsu's feet immediately go sliding out from under him, and he clutches at Barnaby's jacket instead, nearly taking both of them down. "Bunny!"

Now they do look rather ridiculous, with Barnaby's hands under his partner's arms, trying to keep them both from falling, but by sharing a center of gravity, they manage to stay upright. "Do. Not. Move." Barnaby instructs, withdrawing a little, sliding his hand down Kotetsu's arm until they can link hands again.

For once, Kotetsu listens, trying to stay as still as possible, and finally, they are standing on the ice and he's not falling. Success! "Now what?"

"Impatient," Barnaby gives his most trademarked "You are an idiot" expression and forces Kotetsu to simply stand there for a moment. "You need to find your center of balance. Then we're going to go slowly, right foot first – no, your other right!"

In the end, Kotetsu doesn't really listen to the verbal directions, but watches and feels how Barnaby is moving, doing his best to mimic. There's already a natural rhythm between them to begin with, and after a few unsteady shuffles, they finally glide a little ways together. "Hey, Bunny, look at me!"

"Look ahead," Barnaby says, glancing at his partner as his excitement throws off his balance. "Focus, Kotetsu. Kaede's watching you."

Kotetsu is still holding tight to Barnaby's hand, that sense of rhythm being core to his balance, but with every glide, they're faster, smoother, traveling farther. Kaede skates up beside them and grabs at her father's other hand, cheering.

"Good job, Dad! Wow! Barnaby really helped you!" She's so excited that her father is out here with her, taking part in one of her favorite things in the whole world. It had been so… so _cool_ to watch it happen, even if she couldn't hear anything they'd said. At a distance, her eyes playing tricks that were no longer really tricks, for a moment she'd seen Barnaby and Wild Tiger… their teamwork. Something has clicked in place, all of the hours and hours of episodes she's seen, and she doesn't really know how to explain it. But this is… just the best Christmas Eve ever.

Feeling safe between the two of them, Kotetsu risks a quick glance down at his daughter, a wide smile on his face. Kaede looks… so happy, happy like he doesn't know that he's ever seen on her face in person, maybe ever. He's so surprised by the intensity of emotion in her familiar eyes that he forgets to glide for a moment, tripping up the rhythm.

Kaede lets go of her father's hand when she senses him losing his balance, curving away just in time to watch the unfortunate collision. "Oh, maybe I spoke too soon~!"

Barnaby tries in vain to adjust for Kotetsu's misstep, but when his flailing partner makes a grab for him, it sends them into a spin and Barnaby's feet are out from under him.

They go down hard, Kotetsu first, taking Barnaby with him. He whacks his tailbone on the ice and slides, ending up flat on his back with his partner on top of him in a very undignified manner.

"I told you to look forward!" Barnaby hisses, trying to climb off, but it seems the universe is against him. He's lost his glasses and the blades of their skates are hopelessly tangled, and underneath him, he feels the vibration of Kotetsu's laugh.

Kotetsu sits up on one elbow, wincing in pain as Barnaby reaches to try and untangle their feet. It's a _very_ awkward position they're in, but he can't help but chuckle. When Barnaby finally frees them and turns back to admonish Kotetsu again, he grabs his partner's wrist to stop him. "Bunny, thank…" Barnaby's green eyes are intense up this close, without the glasses, and Kotetsu stops for a moment, his mind completely blanking.

"What?" Barnaby raises an eyebrow at the strange look on his partner's face, but Kotetsu doesn't answer him.

Kaede retrieves Barnaby's glasses, which are thankfully undamaged, and once he's stood, they work together to get her father upright again. "Are you both okay? The rink is closing for cleaning and a performance in another fifteen minutes."

"You went down harder than I did," Barnaby turns to ask Kotetsu, but whatever spell his partner had been under is broken, for he seems like himself again.

"I can stick it out for a few more times around as long as you don't leave me on my own," Kotetsu tells them, rubbing at the sore spot. He's taken far, far worse. He holds out his hands to both of them.

"Only if you promise to face forward!" Barnaby protests, and once agreed upon, they all take off again together.

At the end of the skating session, happy to be back on land again, Kotetsu insists on hot cocoa and hot dogs for all of them while they wait for the performance to begin. Secretly, he's grateful just to sit in one place for a while. _This day has gone really well so far,_ he thinks to himself as he finishes his hot dog.

The performance begins, live music and professional skaters weaving Christmas stories. Kaede is entranced, Kotetsu is entertained, and even Barnaby seems like he's enjoying it, until all of the sudden, Kotetsu glances at him and he's not okay.

Not at all.

"Bunny?" Kotetsu leans in softly to ask, because the look on his partner's face is nothing like it was mere moments ago. His eyes have blanked and his lips tremble. "What's wrong?"

Barnaby's hands are shaking and as Kotetsu looks on in alarm, two tears come from the corners of his eyes and streak down his cheeks. "This song…"

Kotetsu listens for a moment, not quite understanding. An old familiar carol is being played, by only a piano, all of the other instruments silent as one skater in white whirls in the center of the rink. "Silent Night?"

"I… I can't…" Barnaby stammers suddenly, shaking his head and turning to push his way through the crowd and away from the rink. "Please, excuse me…"

Kotetsu looks after his partner, confused, worried, torn, and then Kaede is tugging at his hand, gesturing for him to bend down. Crouching beside her until they are at eye level, he's startled by the first words out of her mouth.

"Dad! What are you doing?" she hisses, eyes wide and worried.

"What? What are you talking about?" Now Kotetsu is even more confused and his head is starting to hurt. Or maybe it's his tailbone, he can't quite tell.

"Are you that dumb?" Kaede slaps a hand to her forehead and then leans in to whisper, not wanting to interrupt the performance or anyone to overhear them. "Dad, you _know_ what today is… why… why he's sad, don't you?"

Kotetsu blinks dumbly, his mouth opening and closing once before he speaks. "Are you talking about Bunny?"

Kaede sometimes wishes she could shake her father and this is definitely one of those times. "I don't need you right now, _Dad_ ," she finally tells him defiantly, flicking his forehead. "But Barnaby needs… he needs his _partner_! So, really, _what_ are you doing?"

"I…" Kotetsu is floored, because for a moment, she sounds exactly like Tomoe, right down to the inflection, the attitude, the forehead flick. He almost gets lost in it, but then he hears what she's saying, really hears it. "I'm… following him."

With a nod of satisfaction, she pushes at him a little. "Then go! Don't let him be sad, okay? I don't… want either of you to be sad." Why would she want either of her heroes to be unhappy?

Kotetsu is so in awe of his little girl – his brave, strong, honest, kind and wonderful daughter – and he pulls her in, hugging her tight. _How did I get so lucky_?" You got it, Kaede. Stay right here, okay?"

"I came here last year alone, Dad," Kaede nods, hugging him back, but just as he stands, she tugs one more time. "And Dad…?"

"Yes, honey?"

It takes a deep breath to say this one, but Kaede thinks her father needs to hear it, the way her Grandma had told her, a long time ago. "Dad… don't you think, more than anything… that mom would want us to be happy?"

Kotetsu has no idea, no idea at _all_ what to say in response, because the wisdom she speaks is so beyond her years. _"I'm not a little kid anymore, Dad…"_ In the end, he nods, squeezing her shoulder before pushing his way through the crowd and away from the rink.

Intuition guides Kotetsu as he gets further away from the rink and the music, debating about which direction Barnaby might have taken. Probably not the bustle of the stores and eateries, so Kotetsu wagers that the park across the street is his best bet. Just as he reaches the entrance, he catches a glimpse of the red jacket and hurries his pace.

"Bunny! Bunny, wait up!"

The music has faded into the distance enough that Barnaby slows when he hears Kotetsu's voice. He's mostly composed himself, except for the tremble in his hands, and he sits down on the nearest bench once Kotetsu catches up to him.

Kotetsu approaches him slowly, takes a seat at his side, but doesn't try to catch his gaze. "You okay?" He really wants to gather his partner up in a hug, but starts small instead, leaving his own hand upturned where their knees brush.

"…I will be," Barnaby's voice is soft, a little shaken, but he slowly lifts his own hand to cover Kotetsu's, interlacing their gloved fingers until they look like red and green stripes. "You didn't have to follow me."

"I wanted to."

"I'm… glad you did," Barnaby squeezes and Kotetsu squeezes back, and for a moment, they just sit there on the bench in the park, watching the fat, fluffy flakes that have been falling all day long. "It was just… that song reminded me… it was just something they used to play, and suddenly I was just so sad, it overcame me."

Kotetsu understands only too well, but it doesn't keep him from worrying. "And now…?"

Barnaby turns to face Kotetsu with a shake of his head. "I may be sad now and then, things might trigger flashbacks… those memories aren't something that will ever go away… but… it's not like it was before. I know it hasn't been that long since the entire ordeal with Maverick, but in the end, it's… it's just a change in the face. After Jake, I spent ten months living a life that wasn't hell-bent on revenge, remember? So even if the end turn of events was…"

"Ridiculously hideously awful," Kotetsu supplies, shifting a little until they are truly face to face. He really doesn't like to think about it.

Barnaby's expression is somewhere between a grimace and a smirk in response, but he nods and continues. "The change in face can't erase the months I've already spent getting on with my life. Even if I've quit Hero TV, even if I go looking for answers, even if I do nothing at all… I've been moving on from it all along. It doesn't even change the fact that it's been the best year of my life, being partners, working with the other heroes… or that this is the best Christmas I've…"

Kotetsu doesn't even let Barnaby finish the sentence before pulling him into a hug, chins resting on each other's shoulders. For the second - or maybe it's the third, really - time today, Kotetsu finds himself tongue-tied. Things have been so shitty the last few weeks that the previous year of their life seemed lost in the shuffle. "I'm… still so glad you remember all of it. I was truly worried about that for awhile."

"Kotetsu, I think the last _year_ is the only thing that held me to reality in the last _month_." It's the closest he can get to saying _youheldmetogether_ , and Barnaby withdraws, the no-nonsense look back in his eyes. "I… have a lot to figure out still, but…"

"You will," Kotetsu affirms, then adds, with a thought. "We will." It makes him happy to hear what Barnaby thinks of their year as partners, makes him think that, in the end, everything has truly been worth it. It was their partnership that saved the day, in the end, and he doesn't regret prioritizing that trust over everything else, even Kaede, even himself, in the last year.

They walk back to the skating rink hand in hand, letting go only once the large Christmas Tree beside it is in sight and Kaede is waving at them.

Kaede is relieved, actually, when she sees them approaching hand in hand. She only catches it for a moment, but it's long enough for her to feel assured that everything is going to be okay.

It's time to take her annual picture in front of the tree, although she's totally planning on more at home, and she pouts when at first they both refuse.

"Dad, you have no choice," Kaede insists, trying to stomp on his toes. "You're related to me!"

Kotetsu shrugs hopelessly and mouths "I'm sorry" over her head at Barnaby.

"You do have a choice," Kaede turns to Barnaby, but before he can refuse again, she continues. "But it would really really really mean a lot to me. I mean, you already know I'm your fan, but more than that… you're part of this memory too."

Barnaby is truly moved by Kaede's words, but he still hesitates, old bad memories lingering. "I don't know…"

And here Kaede reaches to take Barnaby's hand, turning on the _PLEASE_ eyes in full force. "Pllllleeeeeeeaaaasssseeeee, Bunny?"

It slips out, it really does, a total accident, but before Kaede even realizes what she's said, Kotetsu is howling with laughter – rolling on the ground with glee.

"It's not that funny," Barnaby sighs, putting one hand to his forehead in embarrassment as Kaede stammers apologies.

And that is how they take the picture – In the freeze frame, Kotetsu can't keep the mirth out of his eyes, with one arm around Barnaby's shoulders and the other hand ruffling his daughter's hair in front of him. Kaede has one hand on her father's arm, her cheeks still pink in embarrassment. Barnaby's head is tilted in towards Kotetsu's, his hand on Kaede's shoulder, and there's a bemused smirk on his face, not a single trace of sadness.

Kaede takes their hands, one on each side, as they go to retrieve the bags and catch their ride home. It's already dark and dinner is waiting, a giant group sukiyaki of cooking and tasting and sharing and talking and drinking. Kaede has never seen her family so lively, with her father telling dumb jokes, and Uncle trying to embarrass him in front of Barnaby with old childhood stories, and she's really never seen Barnaby laugh so much. Even her grandmother finally agrees to a glass of Barnaby's favorite wine, and then her father turns up the radio, singing along with every other song.

It's long past midnight when Kotetsu finally insists, with only a little slur, that everyone has to go to bed before him. "Go on, everyone!"

"Aww, Dad…" Kaede protests, even though she can tell that everyone is tired.

"Santa can't come if you're not asleep!"

"I'm too old to believe in that stuff!" She's crawling under the table to escape him, dodging around the side.

But Kotetsu won't take no for an answer and he chases her around the kitchen table, threatening, "Don't make me use my power to catch you!"

"I'll use mine to run away!" she laughs as he crashes into the wall, and then she backtracks, because he's under the mistletoe, just like she wanted. Tugging on his arm, she leans up to kiss him on the cheek. "Merry almost-Christmas!"

Kaede doesn't even make him tuck her in, running off to her room on her own and closing the door behind her with a giggle as she hears the predictable "KaedeeeeeeeKawaiiiiiii~!" echo down the hallway. She's too excited to sleep and she flops down on her bed, gazing up at the posters on her wall.

It's just a little weird now, to be looking up at Barnaby's face twenty times in different nuances of expression. Something about it just doesn't feel right.

With a thoughtful hum, she rolls to her feet and walks carefully along the bed to the wall opposite. After a few moments of examining the pictures, she reaches up, beginning to unpin them.

The work actually takes her about an hour, during which she hears the house fall asleep around her. Finally, she flops down again on the bed, head on her pillow, and gazes at her handiwork.

Barnaby is still on her wall, but in only half the number. Now, Wild Tiger joins him, all of the pictures mixed together so that no matter what way they are frozen in frame, they are always looking at her… or each other.

_Only one project remaining…_

Back in the living room, Kotetsu has almost more trouble convincing Barnaby to go to sleep than Kaede. "Come on, Bunny, you know I bought all those gifts. I need to wrap them!"

"I can help you," Barnaby protests with a frown. He really doesn't want to go back to the cold, dark guest room alone when he can stay here in the warmth and light with Kotetsu, and he should probably just _say_ that, but he has his pride and he's a little bit tipsy as well. Sleep _does_ sound good.

"And ruin all of my surprises?" Kotetsu smiles, reaching to ruffle Barnaby's hair affectionately. He's full of nothing but warmth and gratitude for the happy evening he's spent surrounded by everyone he loves. "No way."

"Well…" Barnaby says, and he _must_ be drunk, or delirious, for what comes out of his mouth next. "You can always… join me when you're finished." He leans in and kisses Kotetsu square on the mouth, so that no mistake is made, and turns to go. His cheeks are certainly flaming and he's actually glad when Kotetsu doesn't say anything in response.

Barnaby counts to three and then walks back to the guest room, flopping down onto the tatami mat in the dark. It's been an overwhelming day, the ceiling is spinning a little and he closes his eyes, drifting, happy.

Kotetsu is left alone in the living room with a pile of gifts and the end of a bottle of wine, his thoughts racing, repeating Barnaby's words again and again, replaying this day, other days, their entire history. He wraps as he thinks as he ribbons until…

He doesn't mean to doze off in the middle of wrapping the last pair of socks, but it's been a long day and his mind is so heavy, his heart so light…

Then, just before dawn, a heavy thump in the room above his head rouses him…

_…Bunny's room…_

And through the thin walls, Kotetsu's heart stops when he hears a broken sob.


	10. Chapter 10

_~o~_

_"I'm worried about you."_

_They don't even get a year._

_Not even one damn year before everything begins to unravel, and Kotetsu hasn't felt this helpless in six years._

_If he wasn't losing his powers, he knows he would stay. He'd try and see Kaede more, but he knows he would stay. He'd keep his promise; keep his life. It's not a bad life._

_But he's losing his powers, a cruel hourglass of sand delivered from the fates determining how long he has left._

_The timing is, as always, ironically terrible. He tries to convince himself that he can retire and go home in peace – that without his powers, he wouldn't be a good partner to Barnaby anymore anyway. And a week ago, delivering this news might have been hard, but the only one to suffer would have been himself. Himself and his own foolish heart._

_Not now._

_Barnaby is falling apart in front of Kotetsu's eyes, sobbing into his hands, and Kotetsu knows he can't leave him like this. But he can fix this. He has to be able to fix this. All he has to do is put his partner back together again and go home to his daughter, and then everyone will be happy. He won't have to reveal the truth to either of them._

_"I want you to be your usual self again soon."_

_But Kotetsu has never seen Barnaby look this awful in all the time they've known each other, not even during the Jake saga. There are dark circles under his eyes, a hollowness to his very being, and all Kotetsu wants is to see him smile again._

_It's possibly the stupidest idea ever, retracing old steps, Kotetsu thinks as they approach the Sternbild skating rink, but he doesn't know how to help, not really, not when Barnaby seems more confused than ever._

_"So… This is where you were that day, moments before the murder occurred?"_

_Barnaby is distant, his mind scattered and unfocused when he answers. "I remember it being lively, just like it is today."_

_Kotetsu has been leaning over the railing, but he turns around now, leaning his back against it instead. "Did they have that back then? He glances at his partner, inclining one hand towards the souvenir stand, but Barnaby's eyes are closed again, thinking, trying to remember._

_Impulsively, Kotetsu saunters over to the stand, his eyes running over the trays of souvenirs. He wishes he could write over Barnaby's old memories, dull them, replace them, fill up the empty space…_

_Ten months of being partners, arresting the criminals, drinking with their friends, saving the city, building that trust… Damn! He's not ready to say goodbye._

_He doesn't even know why he buys the pins, why it makes him smile – maybe it's his tendency to avoid the painful things, to make light of everything, to treasure what time he does have..._

_"Don't you think you're getting sidetracked?"_

_Sidetracked is exactly what Kotetsu wants to be, though, and he elbows Barnaby more than a little suggestively. "See?"_

_Finally, a reaction. There's life in Barnaby's eyes again._

_Barnaby's hands are on his hips and he turns away, and suddenly they're playing their familiar TV parts as if everything they've built together isn't falling apart around them. "I'll pass."_

_Kotetsu is inside Barnaby's personal space, purposefully, showing off the pin on his vest. "I bought a matching pair just for us."_

_"All the more so." Barnaby knows Kotetsu is trying to cheer him up, but he doesn't want to brush everything under the rug. He doesn't want to pretend that it's all okay. He backs up when  
Kotetsu tries to forcibly pin it on him._

_"Don't be shy – it'll make for a nice memory of the time we spent together today."_

_The mixed signals again. The mixed signals he can never bring himself to call his partner on. The mixed signals that have driven Barnaby_ crazy _for the last year, and suddenly, he's totally distracted from his old memories._

_Barnaby side-steps, trying to get away, and also to not touch Kotetsu. As confused as he feels right now, Barnaby also knows that Kotetsu has not been himself since returning from his little trip home and this behavior is further proof. There's something his partner is not telling him – Barnaby knows him too well at this point. "What exactly did we come here for anyway?" Finally throwing his partner off in annoyance, he snaps defensively – always defensive when he's hurting – "This jacket is real leather! And there's no need to remember this day."_

_Kotetsu isn't deterred that easily, especially now that he's gotten a response out of Barnaby that actually sounds like, feels like Barnaby. "But…"_

_"We can make all the memories we want some other time, can't we?" Barnaby protests, his hands in front of him, still on the defensive. He has no one else to talk to about this mess besides Kotetsu, no one else he trusts and his partner is… avoiding. Always avoiding._

_The words sting and backing up in surprise, Kotetsu searches for something to say, his own words echoing back at him–_ I'll send in my resignation and hurry back as soon as possible. _They can't make all the memories they want some other time, and he knows it, but Kotetsu can't bring himself to tell Barnaby the truth when he's already so messed up.With a sigh, he finally says gently,"You never know how much time we have – we…we could get killed in battle tomorrow."_

_"That's not funny!" Barnaby snaps, turning away again, watching all of the children in line to take pictures in front of the Christmas Tree._

_"I wasn't trying to be funny…" Kotetsu says quietly, too seriously, and then reaches to take one of Barnaby's hands, pressing the pin into it. "You don't have to pin it on your jacket, but it was a gift, meant for you, my partner."_

_Barnaby never knows what to say when Kotetsu gets sentimental like this, and so he simply nods, pocketing the pin and accepting the intention, at least. "…thanks."_

_There's an awkward silence between them, even if Barnaby seems a fraction less distant, and Kotetsu tries to change the subject. "Wow… what a great tree."_

_"I had my picture taken that day too," Barnaby remarks, watching the camera flash. He remembers it so clearly, and yet, it doesn't feel… right. "With Maverick…"_

_"A picture of you and Mr. Maverick?" Kotetsu shifts until his right hand is on his hip, puzzling. He didn't realize things went back that far between his partner and that man and he can't help but find the mental image to be…odd. "That's… kind of funny…" he says, for lack of a better explanation._

_Barnaby doesn't think anything about this situation is funny, doesn't appreciate being laughed at either. Kotetsu is trying his patience and he doesn't have much to begin with. "Why?"_

_"It's just, you know!" Barnaby is withdrawing again, and Kotetsu over-emphasizes his laugh, trying to make light, his hand coming down hard on Barnaby's left shoulder. He can tell that he's starting to lose him again._

_"I clearly remember coming here with Mr. Maverick…" Barnaby starts, but his voice wavers as he recalls the memory, so sharp in contrast against the dull haze of the fire eating his home, the murderer standing over his parents' bodies… "So why can't I remember the murderer's face?"_

_Kotetsu hears the hitch in his partner's voice telling him this is about to go sour fast, and he is serious again, trying to bring him back. It's breaking his heart to see Bunny in pain like this and his own feelings yo-yo in response. "Don't torment yourself over it."_

_"But if I never remember…" Barnaby backs away again, his hands going to his head, lost in his memories. "I… I…"_

_His hands flailing helplessly, Kotetsu watches as Barnaby collapses to his hands and knees, finally going down on one knee himself in an attempt to comfort him. "Wait… hey… Bunny…"_

_But Barnaby is worn too thin around the edges by this latest turn of events, on the brink of a complete meltdown, and even Kotetsu's gentle hand on his shoulder isn't enough to snap him out of it this time. "Kriem was right! I'm going to be tormented by the past for the rest of my life!"_

_Barnaby's hysterical sobs cut right through Kotetsu, unraveling him, narrowing his vision, until he can see no other choice but to stay by his partner's side. It's the right thing to do.He's got to be Barnaby's rock in this, he's got to have his partner's back – he…he just_ can't _make any other choice, …not even for Kaede._

_Not as long as his hourglass still has a few grains left._

_"I've made up my mind," he says, more to himself than to Barnaby. There's nothing but painful empathy in his face as he slowly stands. "I'll stick with you until you sort this problem out."  
Barnaby's head snaps up in surprise, the tone of his partner's voice more surprising than the statement itself. He feels like he's missing something, still. "What?"_

_Kotetsu can't help the words that tumble out, the closest he can get to the truth. There's no way he's opening his can of worms on Barnaby today, not when he has so much on his shoulders… not like this. Not when it's obvious how much he needs Kotetsu to be strong. "As your partner, it's my duty to support you in times like these."_

_"Kotetsu…" Barnaby starts, but his exhaustion is overtaking him, he can't even think to form a sentence… but his partner is with him, will always be with him, so it's okay to just…_

_"I sounded really cool just now, didn't I?" Kotetsu is trying too hard to play off the weight in his statement, but the sound of Barnaby collapsing completely forces him to whirl back in surprise. "Bunny!"_

_His heart is beating fast as he bends down beside his partner, rolling the blond into his arms in concern. Barnaby looks frail, vulnerable, passed out in Kotetsu's arms, and he blinks back tears._

_He'd give anything right now to be out on duty, chasing some thugs, Barnaby beside him, confident and snappy and pretty in his pristine suit, everyone's perfect hero._

_Seeing the life sapped out of his partner recalls too painful, too vivid memories of watching the life drain from someone else he'd loved. He can't stand to see it happen again, no matter the cause._

_Kotetsu lifts Barnaby into his arms with a sigh, carrying him princess-style, and following the signs for the infirmary. Hopefully, it'll have somewhere he can rest while Kotetsu figures out how he's going to break this news to his mother. He can't figure out how he's going to tell Kaede that he's breaking his promise._

_The nurse on duty lets him settle Barnaby on the bed and make vague excuses, and he's grateful when she doesn't seem to recognize them. The last thing they need is a media hoopla right now._

_Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Kotetsu removes Barnaby's jacket, then his glasses, folding them and placing them on the pillow. Hesitating, he reaches to smooth the curls away from Barnaby's face, bothered when his skin seems too cool to the touch. He's grateful no one is present to witness the tears that spring into his eyes._

_No matter what he decides to do, it seems, someone is going to end up hurt._

_Kotetsu wishes desperately that he didn't have to make the choice, or that he could split and be in two places at once. Or that he could tell Kaede the truth… but he doesn't know if that will make her hate him more._

_There's nowhere quiet outside the infirmary, but Kotetsu doesn't want to wake Barnaby, so he wanders until he finds the plaza of the food court. It's impulse again when he sees the toy tiger, and he plugs a coin in to make it go, riding in a slow circle and staring at his cellphone with indecision._

_Is he only stalling? Delaying the inevitable?_

_He's not even sure who he's lying to anymore, besides himself._

_"Oh, Mom – it's me. How's Kaede?"_

_The guilt trip begins, but he brushes it off, too damn tired for anything but honesty. "Actually… it might take a little while before I can come back… I still don't know, but I'll definitely come home." Once the hourglass is empty._

_"Did you really plan on coming home in the first place?"_

_"I did! Honest!" When he left Barnaby out of the equation, that is. When he sincerely thought his partner might be better off without him and his dwindling powers and spiraling lies. "But… there's some unfinished business I want to take care of! If I go home ignoring this, I'm sure to regret it later. So… it'll be just a little longer."_

_But it's too late already, Kaede is on the phone, yelling in his ear, and it's all blowing up in his face again. He begs, he pleads, but she doesn't listen, thinks he doesn't care, and then, before he can even process how far wrong the call went, Barnaby is there, obviously having heard way more than Kotetsu intended._

_"What was that all about?" Barnaby's face is expressionless, but Kotetsu can see the fire in his eyes, the slow burn, and it scares him a little. "Quit being a hero?"_

_Kotetsu can't help but let "oh shit" be written all across his face, and he is not prepared for the onslaught at all._

_"What's this about quitting?" Barnaby's voice sounds betrayed as he takes a step closer, one hand on his hip. "I want an explanation."_

_Now is the time. Now is the time to come clean, to tell his partner everything,_ everything _, and instead, Kotetsu just gazes at him in shock, his entire half-baked plan in ruins at his feet. "You see… umm…"_

_Barnaby is determined to get to the bottom of this, to find out what Kotetsu is keeping from him. He makes the logical guess. "Does this have something to do with your daughter's powers?"_

_It's the perfect opening for a minor fib, an easy stretching of the truth, but Kotetsu is emotionally strung out and he still doesn't want to share the truth. The truth makes it real, final… that he's leaving, has to leave his partner, and Kotetsu can neither bear it nor drop it on Barnaby… "No, it has… nothing to do with that."_

_And in this moment, their own worst habits undo them both._

_Kotetsu doesn't know how to open up. He doesn't really know how to trust, to be honest, to share the bad with the good. He's an expert at worrying about other people to the exclusion and detriment of himself, and it's so ingrained in his nature, to keep everyone at an affable arm's length, that he doesn't even see how well his partner knows him._

_"Then why?" Barnaby demands, further confused. If it's not Kaede, then…_

_The trust they've both worked so hard to build is stretched tight between them and Kotetsu climbs to his feet. Trying to tell himself that it's for the greater good, he lies, plain and simple… only it's a lie that doesn't sound remotely as believable as when he'd invented it on the train ride here from Oriental Town. It sounds ridiculous. "I was thinking it's about time I live a steady life."_

_It is the last thing that Barnaby expects to come out of his partner's mouth – a blatant lie, right to his face, the same fake smile attached. And if there is anything Barnaby can't stand, it's being lied to, especially by someone he cares for. "…what?" he asks, giving Kotetsu one more chance to take it back._

_"Being a hero is unsteady," Kotetsu glances away and back, even as he watches the offended look on Barnaby's face grow. "It's fine when you're still young, but as you get older, it starts to get to you. Which is why I've decided to change my lifestyle by getting a regular job!"_

_Barnaby is truly offended and he stares Kotetsu down pointedly until his partner looks down and away, further proof of his lies. "Do you really think that'll fool me?" This is the result of all the talk of their trust? This is the result of offering his heart on a platter? "Do you want to keep it from me that badly?" he nearly spits in disgust, no longer bothering to conceal his anger._

_"What?" Kotetsu looks up, genuinely confused. Does Barnaby know what's really going on? For a moment, Kotetsu wonders if his partner has been waiting for him to come clean._

_And now Barnaby's bad habits rise up to measure against Kotetsu's, fueling their miscommunication – when wounded or betrayed, it's like a switch is flipped. He's automatically thinking the worst of his partner, jumping to the poorest conclusions for the entire situation. He wants to lash out, wants to hurt as he's been hurt, and he doesn't pull his verbal punches at all._

_"Aren't partners supposed to help each other when they're suffering?" he throws Kotetsu's own words back at him indignantly, and when he gets no answer, it stings. "You still don't trust me, do you?" After all he's opened up to Kotetsu, the fact that his partner can't do the same is ripping out the last ray of light in Barnaby's life._

_It's not true, not in the slightest, he trusts Barnaby with his life, after all, and the words burn Kotetsu to the core. After all they've been through together, it's this easy for Barnaby to give up on them? "It's not like that, Bunny…" he tries, but Barnaby is on a roll and there's no stopping him now._

_"Were you trying to stop me from quitting because it would make it more difficult to say you're quitting?"_

_"Ah… well…" That was not Kotesu's intention at all, but he can see why Barnaby thinks so._

_"You helped me out today to make it easier for you to quit!"_

_"No!" Kotetsu feels sick to his stomach now, and deeply hurt. The idea that Barnaby thinks so little of him… and that maybe he deserves it… make him feel sick. There is no true trust unless it's mutual, after all._

_"That's despicable. I trusted you." There's a heartbeat of silence, and when Kotetsu doesn't do anything… doesn't defend himself, doesn't fight back, doesn't offer the truth or any piece of himself at all, Barnaby shuts down. "You can quit whenever you feel like it," he finally says icily. "I'll carry on by myself."_

_Kotetsu is reeling, but when Barnaby turns to walk away, he can't help but try to stop him. "Wait a second!"_

_"I'm all for this," Barnaby says as he throws Kotetsu's arm off hard, ignoring his startled "eh?" "Things will be much easier for me once you're gone."_

_"Hey… stop that…" Kotetsu trails off, suddenly realizing just how much his lies have now alienated and hurt his partner, the person he was trying to protect the most. He's not sure how he got into this position, Barnaby glaring at him with such haughty hatred, worse even than when they first met._ This can't be how Barnaby really feels… it just can't.

_"I tried my best to let you handle things once in awhile."_

_"Hey!"_

_"If you retire, things will be much better."_

_It's the biggest lie ever, as big as his own, but it's the smug look of derision accompanying it that forces Kotetsu to snap. He doesn't even think at all – he's so offended, so fucking hurt, that his hand just draws back of its own accord to wipe that blatant lie away._

_SLAP!_

_Kotetsu's eyes go wide as Barnaby's hand rises to touch his cheek in shock, a look of ultimate betrayal on his face. He's shaking and then glowing and Kotetsu tries to apologize, reaching out to him desperately. "Hey, you're not going to use your power…" This has all gone so wrong, so very wrong, not at all the way it supposed to… but Barnaby is not listening to a word he says, not one damn word, and a heartbeat later, he is gone, up into the sky and across the tops of the buildings. "Wait! That's not fair!"_

_Nothing's fair._

_Everything's ruined._

_Kaede hates him and doesn't trust him, Barnaby hates him and doesn't trust him, he's not going to be a hero for much longer because he's an old wash-up losing his powers and he feels like the biggest asshole on the planet. Sitting down hard on the toy tiger, Kotetsu buries his face in his hands, trying to ignore the hot, stinging tears of frustration._

_He was dealing with the losing powers thing, sort of, and if trading in his Hero days meant getting to see his daughter grow up instead, well, then, it wasn't all bad. And maybe he'd thought that if he could just part ways peacefully, never give away his heart, then it might not hurt so much._

_But he's never really told Barnaby how much his friendship means, he's never realized how the loss of his partner would demolish him completely, and it has. He didn't even know just how much he'd come to depend on the other man's presence in his life. He's never told Barnaby the truth, never even admitted it to himself – he's brushed it off, reasoned it away, tried to satiate it, promised it into a box… but that hasn't stopped his heart from knowing it all along._

_Kotetsu T. Kaburagi is in love with Barnaby Brooks, Jr., right or wrong, and losing him feels like losing Tomoe all over again, only worse somehow… because it's actually his own fault this time._

_It doesn't matter, now, though, because he's betrayed Barnaby with all the lies, both blatant and subtle, and he has no reason to believe there's any reciprocation on his partner's end. He's the one with the fool's crush and Barnaby will probably never forgive him._

_And what would it matter anyway? Time is already running out. Maybe it's better to just let Barnaby go, let him think Kotetsu is an asshole who doesn't give a shit… turn in his resignation in the morning… disappear quietly, go home before he can do any more damage. Before there's even a chance that there's a heart he's breaking besides his own. Hating someone blindly has got to be easier than the loss he feels right now._

_Kotetsu eventually finds himself at the usual place, a row of bottles in front of him, hoping to drown his heart into silence, but the TV draws his attention when he realizes it's airing an interview segment that was taped last week._

_"You've already broken Mr. Legend's record. Is there any hero you aspire to be like?"_

_It's Barnaby on the screen, but Kotetsu can't bear to look even if he's forced to listen._

_"No one in particular… but there is someone I'm no match for."_

_"No match, you say?"_

_Barnaby looks truly happy in the interview, even smiling as he replies. "He's clumsy and does crazy things, but he always works to the best of his ability and with great pride. I aspire to become someone worthy of his trust. Not that I'm trying to become like him, though."_

_Kotetsu stalls a little as he listens to his partner's words, the genuine playful affection in his voice. This is the Barnaby he's known for months now… this is the Barnaby that is his partner and his friend… this is the Barnaby he loves… and pushed away._

_"And who might this person be?"_

_Kotetsu turns to look at the screen just in time to watch Barnaby smiling knowingly at the camera, a delicious twinkle in his green eyes. "It's a secret."_

_His heart jumps into his throat and Kotetsu sets his drink down untouched. If there's even the smallest chance…_

__Heroes don't give up.

_And Kotetsu knows, sure as he knows his own name, that if he lets this go, if he walks away… then he's going to regret it forever._

__But it's not too late.

_"Forget about the car," he says hastily to the bartender, and runs out the door._

_This is it, Kotetsu decides as he drives to his partner's apartment. Fair is fair, trust earned only when given in kind. He's going to come clean – he's going to tell Barnaby everything, the way he should have ages ago. Starting with his powers._

_Barnaby doesn't answer the door or his phone, and Kotetsu is left standing outside his building, staring up at the darkened window in dismay._

_But it doesn't matter if he has to wait until tomorrow to apologize… he swears to himself that he's going to tell Barnaby absolutely everything, every last stupid self-deprecating lame sentimental thought and feeling in his head, the very moment they see each other again._

_Unfortunately, the next time Kotetsu sets eyes on Barnaby, his partner doesn't even remember who he is._

_o/~ Not everything is gonna be the way_  
You think it ought to be  
It seems like every time I try to make it right  
It all comes down on me  
Please say honestly you won't give up on me  
And I shall believe ~/o 


	11. Chapter 11

_"Why didn't you tell me something so important?"_

_Confused, despairing, Barnaby has his partner pulled into his arms as he listens to the truth finally tumbling from his lips. If only he'd known, if only they hadn't fought… But Why? Why has Kotetsu never confided this in him? Is he that terrible of a partner that his best friend would hide from him instead of lean on him?_

_"I'm sorry, Kotetsu. I never realized what condition you were in."_

_How? How could he be so damned oblivious? King of Heroes and he didn't even notice his partner struggling? No, all he's been able to think about in the last week is himself, his memories,the past… he's so caught up in the past that he wasn't paying attention to the present… and now, now it's cost him the future as well. Barnaby hates himself in this instant, hates himselfso much for his selfishness, for his fear…_

_"Shut up! Don't talk like you're about to die! You're not that kind of person!"_

_But Kotetsu is fading fast, going limp in his arms and Barnaby is fucking losing… not his mind, this time… but his heart. He's losing the only person he's ever really deeply cared about… trusted… loved… this isn't real this isn't real this isn't REAL_

_"Kotetsu? Kotetsu!"_

_The scene mottles, jostles, the colors blurring as Barnaby sobs brokenly over his partner's body…_

"Bunny? Bunny!"

Kotetsu pauses outside the door to Barnaby's room, which, being the guest room, is thankfully above the living room and on the opposite side of the house from his family. He can hear the choked gasps through the door easily, but there's no light coming from the edges and there's no way to tell whether Barnaby is actually awake. Rattling his fingertips lightly against the door, he whispers loudly. "Bunny?"

When no answer comes, Kotetsu can only assume that his partner is asleep, dreaming about the tragic events of this night many years past… in which case, an interruption might be a good thing. Leaning his cheek against the wood to listen more closely, he slowly reaches for the doorknob.

"Kotetsu? Kotetsu!"

Kotetsu's heart twists sharply when he hears his name being called and he pushes the door open immediately with no further hesitation, asking, "Bunny?"

In the dim moonlight, Kotetsu can see that Barnaby has kicked all of the blankets off the tatami mat in his sleep. He's still wearing the same black shirt and favorite pants he'd had on at dinner, but his glasses are missing. Tears are running down his cheeks as he thrashes about wildly, and he calls out for Kotetsu again in an agonized voice, lost in the throes of a nightmare.

Pushing the door shut behind him and locking it with a click, Kotetsu drops to his knees beside his partner, reaching for his shoulders with both hands and shaking him worriedly. "Bunny? Bunny!"

At Kotetsu's touch, Barnaby's eyes snap open, but he's delirious still, unfocused and confused. "Kotetsu…" he sobs, one hand rising to grab his partner's forearm in a death grip.

"I'm here, Bunny, I'm right here," Kotetsu soothes, leaning over him and gently brushing the curls away from his damp cheeks, chest tight with empathy. "Come on, it's a nightmare, it's not real…"

"Nightmare…" Barnaby gasps, relaxing into the touch for a second before pushing himself up on one elbow. For a long moment, he doesn't even know where he is, but as his eyes finally focus on his partner and the rolling white landscape beyond the small window, it all rushes back.

"That's right…" Kotetsu murmurs, instinctively half-dragging Barnaby into his lap by the arm, his other hand rising to rub soothing circles against his partner's back, much the way he had for Kaede when she was little. "Not real. Everything's fine, you're safe…"

Even though he knows the time and place now, Barnaby's heart is still caught up in the moment he was reliving, and he buries his face in Kotetsu's chest with another sob, his hands curling into the soft fabric of his shirt. "You were dead. I killed you."

Kotetsu can barely make out the words, but it's enough to realize that he was totally wrong about the source of the nightmare. It's only in this moment that he truly understands how badly he must have scared the ever-loving shit out of his partner that day, and it brings him to tears listening to Bunny sob brokenly in his arms. "Naa, Bunny… I'm so sorry I scared you… but I'm right here… I'm not going anywhere…"

"When I thought I lost you…" Barnaby starts, but doesn't finish, struggling to catch his breath, to calm down. Reliving that horrible moment, it's reminded him of the promise he made to himself that day, the promise he still hasn't been able to follow through on. "And I never told you…"

"Thought it was _me_ that didn't tell _you_ the truth," Kotetsu can't help but joke lightly, as Barnaby pulls back far enough to rub the tears from his eyes, a determined look appearing on his face.

"I took you for granted…" Barnaby finally says softly, lifting one hand to run his fingers through Kotetsu's hair with great affection, fixed on the surprise in the warm golden eyes. "I took for granted that you would always have my back… always be there for me to talk to, bitch at, drink with, fight with, dream with… I never said thank you for anything you did for me, for any of the times you went above and beyond, even when I was terrible to you."

"Bunny, I don't care about that," Kotetsu interrupts him, his hand coming up to cover Barnaby's where it rests in his hair, a small smile on his face. "How many times have you saved my ass? Taught me things? Talked me out of destroying stuff? We're partners, of course we look out for each other…"

"No," Barnaby cuts him off, withdrawing his hand only to take Kotetsu's in between both of his own. "No, it's more than that… you… you know it is, don't lie. Kotetsu, you… you don't even know how much you mean to me – _I_ didn't know how much you meant to me, until it was too late… until there was nothing but a great big charred black hole where my heart used to be."

Kotetsu's breath catches as he hears these words from his partner and he squeezes Barnaby's hand. He's always known that underneath the rough exterior, the tragic past, his partner has a warm and loyal heart. He's entrusted his life to Bunny almost since the day they met, but now… now it's time to entrust him with something far more important. "You mean a lot to me too, Bunny. When we fought and you took off, and then I thought you'd forgotten me, forgotten everything about us… it about broke my heart… but I never gave up. I never gave up on making you remember, and… I… "

Barnaby swallows hard, pulling his hands from Kotetsu's, glancing down for a moment before meeting his partner's eyes again. "Tell me it's not too late."

Even pale and tear-stained in the moonlight, Barnaby is so beautiful in Kotetsu's eyes, that he can hardly dare to hope that the words mean what he desperately wants them to. His voice cracks when he answers, "I'm still here…. It's… it's not too late."

"Kotetsu…" Barnaby sighs in relief, lifting a hand and settling it over his partner's heart. With his other hand, he reaches to trace one finger along Kotetsu's lips before he speaks again. "Kotetsu… I love you."

Kotetsu kisses Barnaby before he manages to answer him back, taking the blond's face gently between his hands and covering those lips with his own. Barnaby doesn't protest, kissing him back, slow and soft, over and over and over and over, letting Kotetsu break it when he chooses to murmur against his lips. "I love you too, Bunny. I'm so sorry it took me so long…"

"Sshh," Barnaby shakes his head, unwilling to let his partner take all of the blame anymore. "We got here together."

There is no need for talk now that there is unspoken permission to touch and Barnaby kisses Kotetsu this time, with all of the passion and pain he's bottled away for too long. It's as heated as their first kiss was, as hesitant as the second, as tender as their third, and finally, they've lost count, lips brushing past each other repeatedly until Kotetsu catches Barnaby's upper lip between his own and nips hard.

Barnaby can't even help the noise of pleasure that slips out, and he shifts until he is on is knees, straddling Kotetsu's lap, running his tongue along his partner's bottom lip to demand more. When Kotetsu opens up to him quite willingly, Barnaby's tongue invades, touching, tasting, memorizing every inch of Kotetsu's mouth, his hands winding through shaggy brown hair to keep him in place.

Kotetsu has a few tricks of his own, though, and refuses to submit to his partner's whims entirely. Though one hand weaves it's way into the golden curls in return, the other trails light fingertips down Barnaby's back until it reaches the hemline of his shirt, searching for warm skin underneath.

"Ko-Kotetsu…" Barnaby breaks their kiss as Kotetsu's fingers skim along his lower back, and the touch sets him on fire, ignites something he's been ignoring and writing off for so long now. Barnaby wants this, he _wants_ Kotetsu, and he's not going to take no for an answer. Leaning back, he pulls his shirt over his head and drops it on the floor beside them. His hands then go to the hemline of his partner's shirt, yanking it up and over his head without warning.

"Bunny!" Kotetsu laughs softly as the shirt tangles on the arm he has around his partner, and he lets go, carefully pulling it loose. Barnaby has the grace to look vaguely embarrassed, but Kotetsu doesn't let him remain that way for long. Wrapping his arms around Barnaby, he pulls his Bunny in close, hugging him tightly and whispering into his ear. "Slow down a little, would you?"

Barnaby acts insulted, but it's only that – an act, and he's smirking, just a little. "Not my fault if you can't keep up, old man."

Kotetsu laughs softly against Barnaby's neck, laying an open-mouthed kiss just below his ear. When Barnaby shivers in response, Kotetsu repeats the gesture, trailing an entire line of kisses down the pale skin of his neck until he reaches the curve of his partner's shoulder. Barnaby moans when Kotetsu pauses to worry that same spot for awhile, and the tiger knows that he's winning. "Ready to take it back?"

"Hah," Barnaby mocks him, though there's a breathiness to his voice that wasn't there before. "Not a chance." His hands settle on Kotetsu's shoulders to separate them a little, and then he leans in to kiss his partner again, rocking his hips swiftly down into Kotetsu's.

The feeling of Barnaby's hard heat pressed up against his own stalls Kotetsu for a moment, giving Barnaby just long enough to shove him over backwards. Kotetsu can't bring himself to complain about a pushy, shirtless Barnaby straddling him, though, and he reaches up to drag his partner down into another searing kiss. Kotetsu's hands then wander down Barnaby's back until they reach his ass, curling around it until Barnaby can tell there's a grin playing on the other man's face.

Barnaby breaks their kiss again, but only so that he can kiss and lick his way along Kotetsu's jaw, against the scratch of his beard, then down his neck and across his bare shoulder. One hand wanders across the hard planes of his partner's chest until his fingertips brush a nipple, amused when Kotetsu's hips jerk upwards at the contact.

Kotetsu groans when Barnaby's mouth fastens over that nipple, teeth nipping and tongue swirling, the sensation rushing straight down his body, heat pooling in his belly. "Bunny…"

Barnaby smiles now, enjoying having his partner at his mercy, and he drags his fingertips over the curves of Kotetsu's abs and then downwards, one thumb running along a hipbone just barely exposed by low-riding pants.

His hand fisting in Barnaby's curls, Kotetsu drags him back up for another kiss, but Barnaby will have none of his stalling. He sucks Kotetsu's tongue hard as he shifts again, and then abruptly lets go, sliding down his partner's body to hook his fingers in the waistband of his pants.

Barnaby just barely gets the pants down over Kotetsu's hips before his partner sits up, tossing him off even as he's reaching to pull him back into another kiss. They fight this time in their kiss, chasing each other's tongues back and forth, teeth nipping hungrily at each other's lips. Kotetsu's hand heads for Barnaby's zipper as he tries to climb on top of him, but the blond is one up on him right now, his hand wrapping around Kotetsu's newly-freed cock and stroking it hard.

Kotetsu growls in response, taking a moment to kick off his own pants before attacking Barnaby again with better freedom of movement. The blond has him, almost literally, by the balls, but Kotetsu wraps his arms around Barnaby, knocking them off balance and rolling until he's back on top. He doesn't even give Barnaby a moment of leverage, dragging his pants and underwear down his hips in one go to toss them aside.

There's nothing between them now, and they surge towards each other at the same time, lost in the feel of bare skin and hot arousals grinding together. Hands wander over each other and they kiss frantically until Kotetsu finally pulls away, breathing hard as he traces his fingertips over the angle of Barnaby's hip. Once he feels green eyes on him, he curls his fist around Barnaby's leaking length, dragging his thumb up the underside until he hears a moan.

"Kotetsu!" Barnaby's hips roll upward as he gasps his partner's name, and he starts to lose his focus as Kotetsu continues to stroke him, long and slow, his thumb swirling over the head. When Barnaby tries to reach a hand towards Kotetsu in return, the older man grabs his wrist to stop him with a shake of his shaggy head.

"Now who can't keep up?" Kotetsu teases, because he loves to see Barnaby beginning to unravel, loves being able to put such an expression of pleasure on his partner's face.

"Please, wait…" Barnaby finally manages to say, his other hand flashing down to wrap around Kotetsu's busy wrist, stopping him mid-stroke.

"Bunny…?" Kotetsu pauses this time, letting go to lean over him, a trace of worry creeping into his expression. "Do you… want to stop?"

Barnaby is touched but not surprised at Kotetsu's gentle nature, and he can't help but chuckle breathlessly as he replies. "No, no, not at all… I …"

They are nose to nose again and as Kotetsu waits for him to finish, he kisses Barnaby feather-light, first his flushed cheeks, then the eyelashes he loves fanned prettily against them.

"Do you… " Barnaby has squeezed his eyes shut, as he can't quite believe he's asking this, but he knows if he doesn't, they're just going to touch each other, play it safe… and he doesn't want that. He's still a little scared that Kotetsu might regret this come morning, that he's just trying to comfort him from this scare, and if this is to be their only moment together, then he wants all of it, _all_ of his partner. "Do you want to be with me?"

"Be with you… do you mean…" Kotetsu stammers awkwardly in surprise, pulling back a little until his eyes can focus on Barnaby's, only a thin ring of vivid grass green around black-blown lust. There is _want_ on his face that makes Kotetsu's breath catch.

Barnaby doesn't answer this time, but fists a hand in Kotetsu's hair, dragging his face down for another demanding kiss, after which, he whispers. "I mean what you think I mean, _hentai_."

Kotetsu's face flushes scarlet now and he sits back again, one hand going to the back of his head nervously. "I, ah… do you… are you sure…?"

One hand moving to his forehead in frustration, Barnaby then reaches up to grab both of Kotetsu's arms, shaking him a little. "Stop worrying – I'm not going to change my mind, Kotetsu – I love you."

"I love you too, Bunny…" Kotetsu says warmly, relaxing with a smile. He's willing to do whatever it takes to make Barnaby happy in this moment, and he hopes, moments to come. There isn't any guilt left when he looks down at his partner, and not even any fear, because he trusts… and loves Bunny. Lost in his moment of sentimentality, he barely realizes what's happening, and Barnaby's flipped them again.

Sitting atop Kotetsu's hips, Barnaby leans and stretches across his body, sliding their lengths uncomfortably against each other again as he reaches for his bag, searching for some lotion. "Give me your hand," Barnaby says softly, looking down at Kotetsu expectantly.

Kotetsu's eyes widen a little at the authoritative tone and he can't help the words that spill out as he gazes up at his partner with a smirk. "Bunny… you've done this before?"

Barnaby flushes hard, averting his eyes. "What a question to ask in this position, you damn pervert…" he blusters at first, and then softens when he sees the genuine curiosity in his partner's eyes. "And… no, actually…" But oh, he's researched it, he knows what to do, ever since his Hero Academy Days had assured him that he was not the slightest bit sexually interested in women. "Are you really going to inquire about my previous history right now? Shall I ask you if there's been anyone since your wife? Shall I ask if you've ever been with a man before?""

Kotetsu starts to laugh as he listens to his ever-defensive partner begin to fire. "Bunny, Bunny, it was just a question – I didn't even think about it before I asked. I'm sorry, and… no; not really; and well, not exactly."

Barnaby sighs heavily and shakes his head, wondering why he can't help but find his partner as endearing as he is frustrating. "Kotetsu, do you trust me or not?"

It's a simple question, with a simple answer. "Of course, Bunny…"

"Then _touch_ me…" Barnaby demands, taking one of Kotetsu's hands in his, twining their fingers and slicking his partner's in the process. He drags Kotetsu's hand across his hip and over the curve of his spread ass until his occasionally dense partner finally takes the hint.

Kotetsu watches Barnaby's face carefully as he presses one slick finger in, pausing when he catches the slight wince. "Bunny…?"

"Don't stop, idiot," Barnaby chastises him, and then wraps his own hand around both of their lengths, stroking them together.

"So bossy," Kotetsu murmurs, but acquiesces, arching helplessly into Barnaby's touch. Slowly, he begins to finger-fuck his partner as Barnaby continues to stroke them both, driving his hips back onto his partner's hand with a gasp and a shudder. The noises Barnaby is making are slowly driving Kotetsu crazy and one finger becomes two, then three, until Barnaby finally gasps.

"Stop!" Barnaby is panting now, the flush in his face now traveling down his neck, and he leans to kiss Kotetsu as he re-positions himself.

Kotetsu has more than gotten over his awkward moment by now, though, and he is finished taking _suggestions_ from his partner. He wants this as much as Barnaby does, maybe more, when he thinks of how he's dreamed about it for the last year. Rolling them over one more time, he breathes into Barnaby's ear. "That's okay, Bunny… I think I can take it from here." Pressing one kiss to the sensitive spot just below his ear, Kotetsu positions himself at Barnaby's entrance. "Do _you_ trust _me_?"

Barnaby shivers at Kotetsu's warm breath against his neck and reaches to wrap his arms around his partner's back and over his shoulders for support as he sighs, "Completely…"

Kotetsu thrusts hard, seating himself inside Barnaby's tight heat, and for a moment, they simply stay like that, adjusting to the feel, holding onto each other and listening to the pattering of their rapid heartbeats. They kiss, soft and lingering, and then Kotetsu pulls out, thrusting again. This time, Barnaby moans as it hits deeper, his fingers digging hard into Kotetsu's shoulders in response.

They already know each other so well, able to communicate so much with just a glance or a gesture. Their fighting has always had a rhythm, a synchronicity, like a dance they alone share, and this is no different. Kotetsu pulls one of Barnaby's legs over his shoulder, driving deeper as they move together, reaffirming their connection with every touch.

"Kotetsu…" Barnaby moans, and his eyes roll back in his head when Kotetsu's other hand finds his, wrapping both of them around his leaking cock to stroke in time with his thrusts.

"Bunny…Bunny… _Bunny…loveyou…_ " Kotetsu is chanting Barnaby's name with every movement, his voice hoarse with pleasure. His entire body is shuddering with each thrust, but he forces himself to hang on until he hears Barnaby's strangled cry.

"Kotetsu!" Barnaby cries out, louder than he intends, his orgasm ripping through his body like white hot fire as he spills his release over their joined hands.

"Bunny!" Kotetsu thrusts once, twice more and then he's coming hard, in a rush of exploding colors behind eyes squeezed shut in bliss.

Barnaby doesn't mind when Kotetsu collapses against him, winding his arms back around his partner, tangling their legs, not wanting to let him go. Kotetsu places his lips over Barnaby's pulse point, kissing languidly until their breathing slows, and then he pulls out and rolls off.

For a long moment, they both lay side by side, staring at the ceiling, but then Kotetsu reaches for Barnaby's hand, squeezing it once. "I'll be right back…" He rolls to his feet, and with one small over-the-shoulder smile back at Barnaby, disappears out the door.

When he returns a few minutes later, dressed again, it's with a warm, wet cloth, which he offers to Barnaby with another warm smile. The sky is just beginning to lighten, and for a moment, Barnaby isn't certain whether Kotetsu is going to stay, or say anything else at all.

Kotetsu figures he's already gotten more than an invitation, though, and by the time Barnaby is dressed, he's re-made the tatami mat and climbed into it, pulling the blanket back invitingly with a _pat-pat_ of one hand. "Bunny…?"

With only a moment's hesitation for the fact that this is completely new territory, Barnaby crawls in beside him, protesting to cover his unease. "Your toes are too cold…"

Kotetsu wraps an arm around Barnaby's shoulders, pulling his partner in snugly against him with a chuckle. He knows that Barnaby wants him here just as much as he wants to be here, and it feels… amazing. "Hey, Bunny…?"

Barnaby's cheek is resting against Kotetsu's shoulder now, and warm and sleepy, he barely exhales a response. "Kotetsu?"

"Merry Christmas."

Barnaby tenses for a moment, but then he relaxes, leaning up to press a soft kiss against Kotetsu's cheek as he smiles. "Merry Christmas."


	12. Chapter 12

_~o~_

_The robots' guns are trained on the heroes, and flat on his back at their mercy, Barnaby's eyes roll towards the prone body of his beloved partner, his young daughter still bent over him in tears._

_They are probably all about to die, and in that moment, Barnaby swears to himself…_

If I had another chance… I would stop living for the past, and live for the future instead…

_Across the room, Kotetsu is just barely regaining consciousness, and pissed as hell, he thinks of Barnaby and Kaede, and swears to himself…_

When we get out of here alive… I am going to stop hiding from the people I love most…

_Eyes close, and souls reach out to each other…_

I'd make a different choice…

_And somewhere in heaven, somebody smiles knowingly._

_~o~_

 

Kotetsu dozes on and off for a few hours, but it's too quiet in the country after more than ten years in Sternbild, and the smallest creaks in the house rouse him again. He can tell that only his mother is awake so far, but Kaede can't be that far behind.

Barnaby is still tucked against him, an arm draped loosely across him, their legs tangled under the blankets, and Kotetsu glances down, studying his lover's peaceful face. Lifting one hand, he traces a thumb along the line of fanned eyelashes on Bunny's cheek, then down over his slightly parted lips. _So cute…_ Kotetsu finds that he simply can't resist, and tipping Barnaby's chin up with one finger, he kisses him softly.

"Ko…tets…" Barnaby mumbles sleepily. It's three or four kisses before he responds, and even then, he's not quite awake yet.

Kotetsu smiles, knowing how much Barnaby is _usually_ a morning person, and runs his fingers through messy blond hair while he can still get away with it. "Sorry to wake you, Bunny, but I wanted a chance to give you something while we were still alone."

"Give me something?" Barnaby echoes, looking up at his partner as Kotetsu leans across him, hand swiping the floor to grab something he'd secreted in the pile of his green button-down early this morning.

Kotetsu picks up Barnaby's glasses as well, handing them to his partner just as he turns to search for them. "A Christmas present, Bunny, obviously!"

"You're ridiculous," Barnaby sets his glasses in place and sitting up, he gives his partner a _look_. It feels surprisingly less awkward than he would have guessed, waking up like this together, and he wonders if they are just that much more used to being together than apart. 

"Waking me up for _presents_ like you're still…"

"I'll always be a little bit of a kid at heart, Bunny," Kotetsu cuts him off, leaning in to kiss him again and then holding out a small wrapped package. "Besides, I think you like me that way."

Barnaby only hums in response, ignoring the proffered package to turn and search his own bag. It _is_ absolutely true, but admitting to it would just inflate the old man's ego that much more. "I have a gift for you, as well, but… I confess that it was something I prepared prior to the entire debacle… not that it's any less…" _Significant? Special?_

"At any rate, please open this first."

Kotetsu boggles as Barnaby withdraws from his bag a 2 ft green and red striped package wrapped in layers of thin, curling gold ribbon. "Bunny?" he laughs a little in complete surprise as he accepts it, having no idea what the enormous but feather-light package could be or how 

Barnaby had managed to smuggle it all the way here without him knowing. "Wait a minute…"

"What do you mean, wait a minute?" Barnaby looks vaguely insulted and crosses his arms, refusing to accept Kotetsu's present until his partner stops laughing at him. "Do you want a present or not?"

Barnaby's pout is adorable and Kotetsu stalls just to enjoy it a moment longer, now that he doesn't have to hide his feelings so much anymore. 

"Of course I want a present when it's from my partner, Bunny~," he grins and sing-song's Barnaby name, and then proceeds to shred the paper as if he has hidden claws.

"Then hurry up already," Barnaby fusses, leaning in, but there's a glint in his eyes that gives away the fact that he is a little bit excited too.

Inside the fancy wrapping, the package is all soft within white tissue paper, and Kotetsu slows down for a moment as he pulls it apart more carefully. It's… a plush toy, and not just any plush toy – a _tiger_. Pulling it free of the paper, Kotetsu lets his eyes run over the hand-stitched expression, so familiar, on the golden fabric, and touches the stitching of every tiny brown stripe. _It looks just like…_

"I know you were the one that insisted on that absurd pink rabbit for my birthday last year…" Barnaby starts defensively, and then his words trail off when Kotetsu's face rises and he sees the tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.

"I never told you that," Kotetsu protests with an enormous grin, even though the entire birthday-thief hoax had indeed been his idea, and the bunny his improvised stand-in during rehearsal.

Barnaby colors a little when Kotetsu hugs the plush to himself and though he decides to continue with his explanation, it's stilted and awkward as he realizes just how much of himself this gesture is giving away. "You seemed so overly fond of that rabbit every time you were at my apartment, always playing with its ears… I thought… if you had your own to manhandle… but there wasn't one. A cat, a dog, a bird, a frog, a lion, a giraffe, an elephant… so I had it custom-created, so they would be a matched set."

"You had a plush toy custom-made?" Kotetsu repeats, and then, without warning, he tackles Barnaby back into the pillows, hugging him tightly and kissing the corner of his mouth. That Barnaby would have gone to such lengths to do something special for him, the meticulous detail involved… it tells Kotetsu just how long his partner has thought of him fondly, if nothing else. "I love it, really, truly."

Of course, Kotetsu has interrupted Barnaby for the second time now before he can get to the end point, and seeing as Kotetsu hasn't noticed what's around the tiger's neck on a length of ribbon, Barnaby wavers on whether to point it out. After all, things are different now, so it hardly matters…

"Bunny? What's this around the neck?" Kotetsu is laying with his head on Barnaby's chest now, one arm holding the tiger up in the air above them for further examination. The length of pink ribbon flutters in the air, a golden key swinging on the end.

Barnaby is silent for a moment, giving his partner a chance to come up with the inevitable answer, but Kotetsu always waits until he is ready to spill his thoughts. "A key… to my place, in Sternbild. As I stated previously, the package was wrapped long before…"

But Kotetsu is a sentimental man, and even if circumstances have changed and life is confusing and wonderful and they don't really know what's going to happen next… he _gets_ it. He understands what Barnaby is trying to say with this gesture in a way that he can't quite find words for, and he's listening to his partner try and excuse the depth of it away in the same breath. Kotetsu moves up onto one elbow, setting the tiger aside beside them, and looks down at Barnaby. He's pleased when his grin is answered by a flustered blond stuttering to a halt, and then he leans down to kiss Bunny, speaking a few words at a time in between each kiss. "You… wanted… to let me in… Bunny… to trust me…"

"You invited yourself over so often anyway," Barnaby says when Kotetsu finally stops kissing him, but this denial only makes his partner laugh and kiss him again.

"Ah, well, Bunny…" Kotetsu says once he calms down, and then holds up the small package again. "I'm not certain I put as much _thought_ into this, but… it's got at least the same heart."

Barnaby's gut twists at the statement, and he finally accepts the package, carefully separating the tape from the paper to damage it as little as possible. Shaking it lightly, he holds up his hand to catch the two shiny metal objects that fall out. His heart jumps in his chest as he realizes what he's holding – something he spent the entire week Kotetsu was in the hospital searching everywhere for, to no avail.

"How did you…" Barnaby starts, thinking perhaps Kotetsu went back to replace it but no, as he turns it over in his hands, he can tell that the back is slightly bent. Either way, he hadn't said anything to his partner about losing it in the first place.

"I found it…" Kotetsu replies softly, hesitating before giving the entire truth instead of a glossing. "In Maverick's office… it took me a bit to realize I had two and it was yours, but… I knew it meant something wasn't right."

"These are… this is from the day that we fought…" Barnaby says, unable to keep the surprised choke of emotion out of his voice, running one finger over the colorful surface. "Why would you want to…?"

"It was a special gift, that ought to be returned to its rightful owner… a matched set… a cherished memory."

"The day we fought?" Barnaby is confused and the hurt shows in his eyes as he studies the pin, not meeting Kotetsu's gaze.

"The day I realized I was in love with you," Kotetsu answers simply, as if that ought to explain everything. In a way, it does.

The gift that Barnaby had rejected in his fear of his own feelings was now a precious memory, a reminder of what they had almost lost… almost never had. Barnaby doesn't respond verbally, but he sits up, rolling off the tatami mat and to his feet in one swift movement. Padding across the room, he lifts his jacket off the back of a chair and then sits down on the chair, looking over it carefully.

"What are you… You don't have to do that, Bunny!" Kotetsu's eyes widen in surprise as he gets to his feet, crossing the room in two steps to watch as Barnaby pierces the leather with the pin, securing it in place.

"I don't want to lose it again," Barnaby says very matter-of-factly, looking up at Kotetsu with decisiveness in his expression before he reaches to adjust his glasses nervously. "And isn't our partnership… forever?"

Kotetsu feels outdone by his partner, but when it's about him to begin with, it hardly seems to matter. "And Always," Kotetsu answers, his hand coming down lightly on Barnaby's shoulder.

The conversation is cut short as Kaede's squeal of excitement echoes up from the living room and Kotetsu chuckles.

"You should go downstairs," Barnaby says with a smile that quickly becomes a grimace as he turns to face the mirror above the dresser and gets a look at his hair. "I'll… be down in a little while."

Kotetsu doesn't know if it's just his good mood, but everything makes him want to laugh today, and so he does, kissing the top of Bunny's head. Pulling on his green shirt and running a hand through his own hair over Barnaby's shoulder in the mirror, he leaves his partner in the room and heads downstairs to greet his family for the holiday morning.

"Dad! Dad, that pile of presents is almost as tall as me!" Kaede's eyes light up when he reaches the doorway, and she can't decide whether to scold him or thank him. Instead, she jumps up from the kitchen table and hugs him tight around the middle.

The kitchen is already bustling with activity, his mother moving back and forth between the stove and the counters, preparing things for the day's extensive meal. The sweet cinnamon wafting from the fresh rolls makes Kotetsu's stomach rumble and he feels even more grateful to be home for the holiday. He's always missed the food too, even if not as much as the people. "Well, not _all_ of them are for you," he teases, hugging her back. "Just most of them."

"Just in time for breakfast, as always," his mother says as Kotetsu takes a seat at the table between Kaede and his brother. Despite the amount of work involved in cooking for the entire family, she seems quite pleased this morning, a softening of her usual stern.

The table is piled high with plates of eggs, ham, pancakes, baskets of fresh fruit and the delectable cinnamon rolls. Kotetsu can never resist sweets, and he heads straight for the gooey center bun, prying it out with two fingers. "Mom, this is enough food for an army! There's only five of us!"

"You're complaining about being fed when you've lived on nothing but fried rice for ten years?" she snaps back at him, and he grins, shaking his head with a big "no" before cramming the cinnamon roll into his mouth.

Barnaby arrives just as they're finishing and Kotetsu pauses in carrying dishes to the sink to smile warmly at him. His partner's blond hair is perfectly curled again and he leans against the doorframe in his red t-shirt, apologizing lightly. "I hope I've made it in enough time not to be a nuisance."

"Nonsense," Kotetsu's mother says, jarring Kotetsu out of his momentary stupor by stepping on his toes. "Kotetsu, get him a fresh plate, there, on the drying rack."

Kaede greets Barnaby the same way she greeted her father during this exchange, running up to hug him around the middle. "Wait until you see the ridiculous pile of presents!" she exclaims, grabbing his hand and tugging.

"Kaede, let Bunny eat breakfast first," Kotetsu finally responds, flexing his stomped toes as he hands Barnaby a plate, amused by Kaede's exuberance. It's nice to see her act a little more like a kid for once.

It's a comfortable end to the meal, but before long, Kaede has dragged both her father and Barnaby into the living room, with a promise that her grandmother and uncle won't be far behind. Barnaby seats himself on the couch, taking in the enormous pile of presents half-obscuring the tree. The wrapping job goes, quite noticeably, from _decent_ to _atrocious_ as he scans across it and he can't help but snicker.

"Don't you dare," Kotetsu scolds his partner for the teasing, lowering himself to the floor next to the pile. "It took all night!"

"Dad, none of these have labels…" Kaede says in confusion, picking up one lumpy looking package and shaking it.

"Ah, well, I didn't have a pen…" Kotetsu makes excuses, thinking of his mental state the previous night. Behind him, Barnaby snickers again, thinking much the same thing. "But the ribbon! Silver for Kaede, gold for Grandma, white for Uncle, red for Bunny and green for me."

"Wait," Kaede says, raising an eyebrow. "You bought yourself presents too? Is Santa supposed to buy himself presents?"

"More sorting, less complaining," Kotetsu chucks a present at his daughter's head, pleased when she catches it, reflexes sharp.

Barnaby watches as they divide the pile together, a ritual that seems older than this moment, and happily accepts a cup of tea when Kotetsu's family finally joins them.

Working together, Kaede distributes presents to the family to open together, candies and cakes, silly pairs of matching socks with holly on them, fluffy scarves, a different color for every person, and with each gift, Barnaby finds he is more and more at a loss for words. There's a moment where Kaede is prancing around the room in her new sweater dress, pale blue with silver snowflakes, Kotetsu is laughing as he pops another caramel truffle in his mouth, and each of them, even his mother and Muramasa, is wearing a terrible beret with their names gaudily embroidered on them… Barnaby is laughing with them, and then he disconnects, floating...

"Bunny?" Kotetsu sits down on the couch beside his partner as Kaede is distracted, testing out a set of crayons, every color of the rainbow swirled across the pad of paper. "You okay?" There's a faraway look in his partner's eyes, though he doesn't seem upset.

Barnaby's focus snaps back in place, out of his memories, and he nods at Kotetsu. "Yes, I'm quite fine, Kotetsu… though I really hope you won't insist on me ever wearing this hat in public."

Kotetsu laughs and reaches for Barnaby's hand, squeezing it. "Maybe just for a family photo," he jokes back, surprised when Barnaby suddenly withdraws his hand. The word has reminded him of something important, and when Kotetsu's eyes meet his, worried yet again, Barnaby smiles, holding up one finger for "just a moment."

"Kaede," Barnaby calls to Kotetsu's daughter, fishing in the pocket of his pants. "If you have a moment…"

Kaede jumps up from her place on the floor, wading through the wrapping paper to stand in front of the two of them cheerfully. "Yes, Bunny?" The nickname appears to have stuck once again, but Barnaby finds it doesn't bother him.

"I wanted to give you a gift, to thank you for inviting me to share the holiday with you…" Barnaby says lightly, reaching out to take her hand and turn it over, palm-side up.

Kaede watches as he drops something small and shiny into her hand, and without even needing to know what it is, she beams. "Thank you!" Barnaby… _Bunny…_ has given her a present, and that alone makes it very special.

Barnaby continues to explain as Kaede untangles the chain, holding up a delicately carved silver locket. "That belonged to my mother…" 

Barnaby pauses for a moment when he feels Kotetsu sling an arm along the back of the couch, casually around the edge of his shoulders, but then he continues. "It's one of very few things that… that survived the fire, and… it's very special to me. I want you to have it."

 _Special…_ Kaede traces a finger over the locket and opens up the heart-shape to blank space inside. "Barnaby, I…" She is about to refuse the gesture – it's too big, too important, she _knows_ how much it must mean to him, which is to say… how much she must mean. Looking up to meet the too-green eyes of the man she's idolized, she sees something else now… something even more important than that… 

_Bunny is family_ \- someone who would be hurt if she was to reject a gift given with love. "…thank you," she finally whispers, then leans in to wrap her arms around his shoulders, hugging tightly.

Kotetsu doesn't try to hide the fact that the scene has made him teary-eyed, but when he moves to join their hug, both Kaede and Barnaby snap apart, looking sheepishly at him and not each other.

"I have to get my gifts for you!" Kaede says, climbing off the couch and kicking a piece of wrapping paper with a shy grin. "I'll be right back."

Of course, no sooner has Kaede disappeared upstairs when there's a knock at the front door, and though Kotetsu wishes he could stay on the couch with Barnaby, he jumps up to get it anyway. "Are we expecting company?" he calls back over his shoulder at his mother and brother, who both shrug suspiciously in response.

Kotetsu yanks the door open, a welcoming smile on his face, and stops short when he sees who is waiting on the other side. "Antonio!" he yells in surprise, pulling his old friend into a huge hug. "What are you doing here?"

Antonio lifts Kotetsu off the ground when he hugs him back, taking a step inside the doorway to reveal that he's not alone.

"Agnes Claus sent us last minute," Nathan answers for Antonio, swishing past the both of them and into the living room to greet the rest of the family. He's wearing the most elaborate holiday outfit ever – crushed red velvet, black leather and shiny gold trim – and carrying necklaces woven from tinsel, which he drops on each Kaburagi's head in turn. "Emergency present delivery~!" he gives a wink to Kotetsu's mother, who he'd called yesterday, after all, and then his eyes pause to linger on one Mr. Barnaby Brooks, Jr., white-faced and frozen like a rabbit under a spotlight.

"Wait a minute, Agnes actually gave the two of you the day off?" Kotetsu says, scratching the back of his head, unable to keep the mix of emotions – surprise, joy, melancholia – off of his face.

"Who said only two?" another voice booms, and it's at this moment that Kaede reappears in the kitchen doorway behind her grandmother's chair, her eyes going huge as Keith pushes his way into the room as well, dragging Ivan by one elbow. "And again, only two?"

"Merry Christmas," Ivan says softly, presenting a bouquet of exquisite paper flowers in a myriad of colors to Kotetsu's mother. "Thank you for hosting us, de gozaru."

"Really," Antonio finally cuts in, crossing his arms over his chest and trying to take a step away from Nathan before his butt can be pinched mid-sentence. "I mentioned to Agnes that I wanted to pay my old friend Kotetsu a visit this holiday, his first back at home, and she asked me to make a delivery."

"But as soon as I heard that Sweetcheeks here was headed this way, I couldn't possibly pass up the opportunity to tag along," Nathan smiles around at the group, glad to see his family together again. It's been too quiet without Handsome and Wild Tiger's squabbling… much too quiet. His eyes flicker over to Barnaby again, who hasn't said a word, and he raises one finely plucked eyebrow in curiosity.

"I had hoped to spend this holiday with my fellow hero friends," Keith adds, gesturing wide with one hand. "So when I found that this trip was planned, I asked to be included, and thus invited Ivan as well."

"But Agnes didn't trust any of them with such an important delivery," a new voice cuts in, and the boys back aside to let Karina and Pao-lin into the now over-crowded room, each carrying a small wrapped gift, red for latter and green for the former. "So she insisted that we go along as well, to make sure nothing gets broken."

Pao-lin nods and crosses the room to present the red gift to Barnaby with a smile. "Besides, it seemed right that we should all get to be together for a little while today."

Karina turns and holds out the green gift to Kotetsu, lips quirking in half a smile. She'll never admit it out loud, especially in front of anyone, but it's been a little sad without the two of them around. "Go ahead, open them."

Barnaby and Kotetsu meet eyes from opposite sides of the room, both a bit overwhelmed by the sudden houseguests, reminders of their real… _old_ lives, but they both pull the paper off to reveal plain white plastic boxes. Without a word, Kotetsu suddenly crosses the room, sitting down on the couch beside Barnaby as if he feels it's important they experience this together. Kotetsu thinks he knows what's in the box, instinct, intuition, maybe, and as he and Bunny simultaneously lift the lids, he finds that he's absolutely right.

"I don't understand…" Barnaby says softly as he looks as his call bracelet inside the white box. "We can't…" Beside him, Kotetsu says nothing, but the tension in his shoulders makes his feelings clear to Barnaby easily.

"We know, honey," Nathan says sympathetically, coming around behind the couch to touch Barnaby's shoulder lightly, then Kotetsu's.

Antonio gestures to Keith with a "get on with it" roll of his hand, and the wind master snaps to attention. "Agnes wants you to have those, forever! Things are changing at Apollon now…"

"Those _belong_ to both of you," Karina cuts him off, reaching to take Kotetsu's out of the box and dangle it in front of his face. "Not because we're trying to tell you what to do or that you have to come back. Just so that… you can always call on us."

"Because we are all family," Keith adds, tugging Ivan closer and reaching with his free hand to touch Pao-lin's shoulder. "We should never lose touch."

"Sometimes something just feels like the right thing to do, so you should do it," Ivan supports him and then points at Barnaby's box. "We all think… everyone feels you should have those, so, please… accept this gift."

Nathan watches the way the two partners conference in eyes and minute gestures, and he suddenly _knows_. It's there somewhere in between Kotetsu's head tilt, Barnaby's lip quirk, the unspoken body language – something has changed, he's convinced. And _thrilled_.

Kotetsu finally nods slowly, reaching out to take his green call bracelet from Karina's hand. "Once a hero, always a hero…" He's more than a little moved by the gesture, so much so that his hand actually shakes as he clicks the bracelet back in its rightful place. He's missed it dearly.

"I accept," Barnaby replies simply, withdrawing his own and snapping his into place as well. Underneath the bracelet, there is an envelope with his name on it in Saito's handwriting, but he snaps the box shut before anyone notices, vaguely uncomfortable.

There's a horribly awkward moment of silence in the room, and then…

"Who's watching the city?" Barnaby asks suddenly in alarm at the same time as Kotetsu says, as if he's just catching up to the entire barrage, 

"Wait, Agnes is in charge now?" and the conversation dissolves from there.

Kaede bounces from conversation to conversation as everyone makes the rounds of the room, so excited that she can hardly contain herself. All of the heroes of Sternbild are here at her house for Christmas and it's soooo awesome! The presents she'd brought down for Barnaby and her father are forgotten in her grandmother's lap as she tries to talk to everyone at once, offers to take jackets, get cookies, make cocoa, show off her presents…

Kotetsu can't help but play host when everyone has invaded his family's home, and he's off to the kitchen as soon as he can escape to collect glasses for drinks, and also to give himself a moment of breathing space. He hovers at the kitchen counter, fingering his bracelet thoughtfully, feeling a little guilty at having left his partner to the mercy of their friends. On the other hand, he knows just how flawless Barnaby's professional face can be and… and a lot has changed between them in only a few days. He doesn't know if Barnaby wants any of that revealed to anyone when they've hardly begun to figure it out for themselves and the timing of this visit is, as always with Kotetsu's luck, woefully awful.

Barnaby is tense right now, that much Kotetsu can tell, but he's worried that if he tries to get him to loosen up, he's only going to make it worse. Can they simply act like they always have? Not that he really thinks most of the other heroes would notice anything different… Kotetsu smacks himself in the forehead for how dramatic he feels like he's being about this, and thinks that maybe if he just keeps a little distance, he won't accidentally say something dumb or touch Barnaby absent-mindedly in a way that seems too… intimate. He's always been pretty good at following his partner's lead, but perhaps a little extra help on their side… perhaps getting everyone a little more… relaxed.

It's too easy, way too easy, when he finds the enormous pitcher of eggnog in the refrigerator. One swipe through the liquor cabinet – after all, he does know his alcohol by family trade – and he's spiked the holiday delight to loosen everyone up just the right amount.

Maybe it's not the best coping mechanism ever, but it's tried and true and it's still Kotetsu's favorite after all these years. And it's Christmas… he just wants everyone to be a little extra happy.

Kotetsu first carries out the pitcher of eggnog, the bottle of rose wine and a bottle of cola. He returns to the kitchen again, avoiding Nathan just before he "accidentally" stations himself closer to the mistletoe. Winding his fingers around half a dozen wine glasses in each hand, he returns again to the living room, handing them around. Once he has only his own left, he tugs Kaede by the arm, pretending to give her a hug as he whispers cheerfully in her ear. "Don't drink the eggnog."

"That stuff is gross anyway," She rolls her eyes at him and turns back to Ivan and Keith. Ivan is teaching her to fold tiny origami cranes out of the wrapping paper, but he's so ridiculously fast that she hasn't quite grasped it yet.

Next, Kotetsu catches Pao-lin by the shoulder as she's following his mother into the kitchen to help start on the sweet potatoes and says, very seriously. "Don't drink the eggnog."

Pao-lin looks at him like he's absolutely crazy and shakes her head, walking off, and finally Kotetsu turns to look at Karina, across the room, now sitting with Kaede, Keith and Ivan. She's making snowflakes on one hand while Kaede uses Sky High's wind powers to float them in mid-air, right alongside half a dozen colorful cranes. "I'll teach you snowflakes next, Kaede, if you want…"

 _Naaah…_ Kotetsu thinks to himself, and says nothing to her of the eggnog as he circles the room, pouring all of his friends a drink. He ends beside his daughter, watching as she attempts to master the wind control enough to keep the cranes circling in a lazy spiral. Ivan keeps jumping to catch them as they spin away, tossing them playfully towards Keith so that his friend can flick them with one wind spiral back into Kaede's circuit.

When he sees Antonio and Muramasa heading for the kitchen, both being assaulted by Nathan under the mistletoe, Kotetsu tries to use them as a distraction to slip into the kitchen as well with little success.

"Wait just a minute, Tiger," Nathan coos, grabbing him by the wrist as he finally lets Antonio and Muramasa escape. "Don't you want your turn under the mistletoe with this fine lady?"

"Ahaha, of course," Kotetsu knows it's always faster just to play along, and he leans in to give his friend a big, sloppy kiss on the cheek. He's glad that someone is having fun with the mistletoe, but of course, things are never that simple with Nathan.

"Deliciously _spicy_ eggnog, Kotetsu," Nathan leans closer to tell him, his other hand snagging Kotetsu's collar swiftly to keep him in place, adding in a whisper. "And an awfully _blushing_ Bunny you've got yourself for Christmas."

Kotetsu's face colors sharply, giving himself away far too quickly, and he squirms out of Nathan's hold as fast as possible. "Have another eggnog, then!"

Nathan only chuckles in response, and then he smiles sweetly at Barnaby when his eyes flicker in their direction from where he is still seated on the couch, watching Kaede's display with the others.

Kotetsu is only too grateful to escape to the kitchen, where Pao-lin is cheerfully helping his mother with dinner preparations, and he steals a cookie from the open tin on the table. He has no idea how Nathan knows so quickly that something is different, but Kotetsu decides that passing back into the living room and giving him further chance to query or observe right now is _not_ the best idea.

Thankfully, his brother and Antonio have moved to the back porch with bottles of beer despite the frigid weather, where they are talking about older days and catching up on each other's news. It's a safe haven from the madness his house has become in the last ten minutes and they both nod in Kotetsu's direction when he cracks open a beer and leans gratefully against the railing to join them.

Back inside the house, Ivan and Keith have moved to sit on the couch with Barnaby while Karina teaches Kaede how to make snowflakes, and he finds himself finally calming down. He's only on his third glass of wine, and it helps that the distraction of Kotetsu has finally left the room. It's a little easier to pretend like nothing at all has changed, and that they're just at another work function, another party where he can wear his polite face.

The city has been quiet since Maverick's end, but Barnaby listens to Keith's updates with interest, realizing that he still genuinely cares about the city he calls home, even if he's no longer its hero. After all, his parents' research is at the foundation of Apollon's hero suits, so he suspects he'll always have ties to this business no matter what he chooses to do with his life next.

"I am glad to hear that things have been peaceful," Barnaby tells Keith, surprised when Ivan cuts in.

"Things seem peaceful here too," he observes with a small smile. "You and Kotetsu look happier and much better rested than we've seen in the last month. It's a great relief, truly, for we all worried about the both of you upon your departure."

"I… " Barnaby starts, at a loss for words at the concern, but both Keith and Ivan are easy to talk to, and after the last week of his life, he finds it's not that hard, opening up to them. "I have been quite happy here, yes," he finally settles on. He's vaguely embarrassed after that exchange, though, and excuses himself from the conversation to retrieve another bottle of wine from the kitchen.

It's true, that he's been happier here in the last week than he really ever remembers being, except maybe during the stretch between Jake and Maverick. Ivan's words give him pause, make him wonder if his sempai sees the "more" that has grown between him and his partner, make him wonder how they would all respond if they knew the truth.

At the same moment in time, Kotetsu has finished his beer, and a little chilly without a jacket, he leaves his brother and Antonio with the excuse of checking on dinner and Kaede. He actually really wants to check on Barnaby too, and when he sees that Nathan has taken a seat at the table, helping Pao-lin peel potatoes, he knows the coast is clear.

CRASH!

Or not.

Barnaby and Kotetsu, each lost to their own thoughts, collide with each other in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room, Kotetsu tripping and landing half in Barnaby's arms. Behind them, Nathan titters and points above their heads, and both partners go sheet white in the same instant.

"That's the way it's supposed to happen!" Kaede points out without even thinking about it, and then covers her mouth with one hand as she realizes what exactly she's insinuating.

There's an easy way out of this, Kotetsu thinks as he straightens up and catches his partner's eyes. He can just lean in, give him a quick peck on the cheek, and no one will be the wiser…

Barnaby stares back into Kotetsu's eyes, his hands going automatically to his partner's shoulders to steady him. For a moment, he thinks that Kotetsu is going to brush it all off with a laugh, avoidant and unserious, the way he so often does… and finds himself surprisingly disappointed at the thought.

Kotetsu sees the sad look flicker through his partner's eyes and that's all it takes to make the decision. Knowing that both rooms are currently riveted to the two of them, Kotetsu follows his heart without thought for the consequences. Lifting one hand, he tilts Barnaby's face towards his, leans in and kisses him – _really_ kisses him, tongue and all, right in front of their entire extended family.

Barnaby tenses for a second, his mind blanking in surprise, but then he smiles. Melting into the kiss, he slides one arm around his partner's shoulders as Kotetsu's other hand wraps around his waist to tug him in hip to hip.

"Wo-oow~!" Nathan is the first of the stunned audience to respond, clapping his hands in delight and cooing ridiculously cutesy comments at the two of them.

"DAAAD!" Kaede yelps as she gets over the moment of shock, covering her eyes, her entire face flaming red. "I don't want to see that much!"

"Well, it's a fine display of holiday love and cheer!" Keith says loudly, beaming from ear to ear. To him, there's hardly anything better than the warm sentiments of someone dear to you, and to see it among his friends is a gift indeed.

Ivan's cheeks are as red as Kaede's, but he is not entirely surprised. He's always thought that the two partners were a perfect fit for each other, and unconsciously, he leans a little into Keith, still sitting at his side, surprised and pleased when the other man's arm loops automatically around his shoulders in response.

Kotetsu hasn't finished kissing Barnaby yet, and even when he finally relents, he lingers close, nose-to-nose, looking only at his partner with a decidedly goofy grin.

"Don't tell me I missed it!" Antonio's voice suddenly booms behind them as he elbows Nathan out of the way. "Damn!"

"That's rii~ght~! The bet goes to me, as always! You owe me one fabulous night-on-the-town when we get home~!" Nathan steps back, but only to give himself better access to pinch Antonio's butt. For good measure, he pinches Barnaby's as well, laughing when the blond jumps a mile with a yelp. "Oh, Handsome, you're usually too guarded for me to catch you~!"

Pao-lin is still sitting at the kitchen table, the potato peeler in one hand, and she really doesn't understand why everyone's making such a big deal out of this. It's just mistletoe, and anyway, haven't those two been oddly close ever since that baby-sitting incident? _Ages ago!_

Barnaby finally takes a step back from Kotetsu, his expression pleased and more unguarded than usual.

Karina means to catch Barnaby's glance, as she's been glaring at him heatedly this entire time, a sour retort on the tip of her tongue. But when she sees the happy smile and the look of adoration for Kotetsu so honest in his eyes, it all slips away, and instead, she finds herself saying, "Well, everyone's always talking about how you're… the perfect team."

"It's because I have the best partner," Kotetsu beams, looping an arm around Barnaby's waist and turning to press a kiss into his temple.

"No, no, I do," Barnaby protests, mocking too many television interviews they'd done over the last year. With the secret out, he can't help but calm down a little, even if he's still most definitely embarrassed. _Or maybe that's the bottle of wine._

"To think how well you got along that first day," Antonio remarks casually, and both rooms of friends snicker loudly, mocking them both.

"If this moment of holiday revelation is finally over," Kotetsu's mother suddenly calls from the kitchen. "Then it's time to start re-arranging the furniture so that everyone has a place to eat dinner! Teamwork Heroes!"

Somehow that motherly command gets to each and every one of them, and everyone begins to shuffle around the house, collecting chairs from different rooms, dragging another table out of the attic or continuing to help with preparations.

_o/~ Deck the halls with boughs of holly_  
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la la-la  
Tis the season to be jolly  
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ~/o 

Kaede turns the music up on the radio and sings along when she's given the job of separating the biscuits onto trays to bake, and waits for the inevitable visit from her father.

Sure enough, once the group has scattered into different tasks, Kotetsu finds an excuse to sit beside his daughter while no one is around besides his mother. "Having a good Christmas, Kaede?" he asks rather lamely, not quite meeting her eyes as he ruffles her hair with one hand.

"It's okay, Dad," she says calmly, placing biscuit after biscuit on the tray without looking up.

"Just okay?" Kotetsu asks in confusion with a worried tilt of his head.

"It's okay if… if Barnaby is your boyfriend."

If Kotetsu had been drinking anything at the moment, he would have choked on it. As it is, he bites his tongue hard, garbling his response. "I…umm… ah… Kaede…"

Kaede sets the last biscuit on the tray and looks up, meeting her father's vaguely embarrassed expression with a soft smile. "He's good enough for you…" She pauses, and then adds, "You're good enough for him. You're better together. So, it's okay. Really."

Kotetsu thinks that he's cried way too much in the last few days, but Kaede does him in yet again. Pulling his daughter into his arms, he hugs her tightly, kissing the top of her head. "I love you, Kaede."

"I love you too, Dad," Kaede whispers, hugging him back hard. "Thanks for keeping your promise."

Everyone is good and tipsy by the time dinner is served, and Nathan and Keith escape the table early to plan a surprise in the backyard for everyone. The heroes must return to Sternbild before the day is through, but there's just enough time for Nathan's favorite holiday tradition – a roaring fire. Keith flies off into the nearby woods to grab enough kindling, and before long, they've got a sizable blaze going.

Nathan's bonfire is hot enough to melt the snow in a circle around it, and everyone trickles slowly outside to stand around the warmth together, watching the sparks snap in the dusk. The sky is completely clear, and it's much darker out in Oriental Town than in the city of Sternbild.

Barnaby finds Kotetsu at the fringes of the circle, just far enough out of the light to shadow his face as he gazes thoughtfully up at the stars. He doesn't say anything at first, but simply reaches out to take Kotetsu's hand, standing at his side and gazing up with him.

This is an old habit of theirs, the stargazing. It goes back to the early days of their partnership, just after Jake - the rides out of the city on the motorcycle and sidecar… after a bad day, a long day, a frustrating day, just to sit in companionable silence overlooking the city and watch the stars… to simply remember their tiny place in the universe as a whole.

"Orion's bright tonight…" Kotetsu says softly, tugging Barnaby in closer for warmth, for intimacy.

"Best time of the year for it…" Barnaby answers him back, and leans in to kiss his partner softly.

Karina and Kaede are making snowflakes now, giggling together as they send ribbons of them into the air, some melting above the heat, others fluttering higher to sparkle in the light before winking out.

There are marshmallows to roast, and Anju brings out mugs of cocoa to go with them. Every single one of them wishes the moment could stretch out into eternity, but all too soon, it's grown late and the call of protecting the city rises again.

After the blaze has died and the heroes have all said their bittersweet farewells, Kotetsu carries an exhausted Kaede to her room, leaving Barnaby alone in the living room, collecting the rest of the wrapping paper and garbage into a bag as an excuse for something to do.

It's then that Barnaby finds the two rolled-up papers on a chair, each tied with a red or a green ribbon. He sits down on the couch, slowly untying the red ribbon and unrolling the drawing. Running his fingertips over the crayon, his eyes fill with tears he can't quite explain. It might be because he remembers drawing things like this when he was a child… but if admits it to himself, truly, it's far more than that.

Kotetsu is momentarily worried when he finds his partner sitting alone on the couch, hastily wiping tears from his eyes. "Bunny…?"

Barnaby smiles to reassure him, and then hands Kotetsu his own rolled drawing. He doesn't know if they are the same, but…

Sitting down on the couch beside his partner, Kotetsu pulls off the ribbon and unrolls his own drawing, knowing very well that it's Kaede's forgotten gift. His heart stops for a moment when he sees the familiar image – the rainbow, _Tomoe_ – but there underneath the streak of color, standing on Kaede's other side, holding the hand not already held by her father… is Barnaby.

"I never give her enough credit, do I?" Kotetsu says, wiping tears from his own eyes.

"I think you're getting better at it," Barnaby says, sincerely and yet with a trace of amusement. It's easier than addressing the true significance of the gesture, or what it will mean in the coming days and months.

Kotetsu pulls Barnaby into his arms and they curl up together, a jumble of limbs on the couch, lips brushing in a kiss. For now, they are together and their hearts are light.

*******

There are a few minutes, technically, left to Christmas, when Kaede logs into the Hero TV forums, yawning. Truthfully, she's been posting on here for a while now, and knows she left her friends hanging after her post last week.

Clicking to upload her image, she grins to herself. She totally owes her dad for getting this shot.

It's so awesome that she can't help hoping the fangirls are all a little jealous to see her being lifted by Barnaby Brooks, Jr. to put the star on her Christmas Tree.

But that photo she snapped of Tiger & Bunny, asleep on the couch, wrapped lovingly in each other's arms?

That one she's keeping all to herself.


End file.
